If Thursdays with Natalia aren't super enough, I am just LOVING my Fridays! I had such a GREAT day!!!! Walking to work with Amit and Gray was fabulous. I got to work 5 minutes early (always a plus!). Cassidy greeted me with a smile. I opened mail and then Gabbo called me around 10am, asking me to go help out her office with constituent tours. I'm always down for meeting people from my district, so I was very excited.

Solis' office had 31 people come in from some middle school that I've never heard of. Talk about strange and crazy encounters. For all you sappy folks out there, check out this story. So I'm checking out the crowd, seeing who these people are. I spy this lady amongst the crowd and was immediately attracted to her animated way of speaking that I just HAD to talk to her. I asked if she was a teacher. She replied with, "Yes, but not with this school." Said me, "You remind me so much of my old kindergarten teacher." Said she, "I never taught kindergarten, except a long time ago at Potrero..." Together in unison, "HEIGHTS!" I then burst out with, "Mrs. Hernandez!!!!" Three thousand miles away from home, and out of some random turn of Fate, I am reunited with one of my FAVORITE teachers... from kindergarten!!!! I used to never believe that people could cry tears of joy, but today was one of those days. I lost contact with her sometime after my 4th grade year, and I'm one of those students that periodically go back to visit old teachers. Apparently, she had taken some time off from teaching to take care of her two little boys and so nobody really knew how she was or how to get in touch with her.

It was great telling her about how I've been in the past decade and how she influenced my life. All the other teachers were very touched that we found each other, too. It's like one of those stories on Oprah... and I know how cheesy this entry is gonna read to everybody else, but for me, it was stupendous.

Fridays are also great because it's the only day that Natalia, Gabbo and I all work. We were able to catch lunch together and exchange stories about what we did last night. I live with Dumb (Gabbo) and Dumberer (Natalia). (I'm Dumber.) It's cool to give sandwiches soulmates and walk down 17th Street singing the theme song to "Pinky and the Brain" in a round, while marching in unison.

When I got home, I found not one, but TWO care packages waiting for me. Star Buddy and I have been reunited!!!! Thanks to Caroline and my momma, the care packages were like the cherry on top of the sundae.

All in all, a wonderfully great day... reunited with Mrs. Hernandez, good day at work, silly but wonderful roommates, and a lovely reminder that I am loved at home (both in Berkeley and LA).

This entry, taken from Gabbo's blog, has been one of THE funniest thing I've ever read. (I literally laughed out loud for 5 minutes in the computer lab.) For record keeping purposes, I have decided to include this into my blog so that I may reflect on the silly memories that we have shared.

Sunday, June 15, 2003
WEEK 2: ADJUSTING

Ohhhhhh.... I understand what Caroline said about blogger having a new format. I "likey" too. This past week has been a lot about self-discovery, and achieving a social balance in this political ambiance. Week 2 in DC Summarized (others): Jamie has developed a "questionable reputation" thanks to former speech boy Amit, and is juggling an MC (Most Compatible), MD (Most Desperate), and a MW (Most Wanted.) Natalia managed to remove her Heinneken wristband while at her congressional office and has found her soulmate, Maximo. She styles his hair. Together they are a combined age of 6, says Natalia. Adrian is dating "Reagan," Caleb's flannel pillow. She also formed ties to Lou Pearlman (creator of BSB and NSYNC to edify the non-pop-inclined) and was liberated by France. Caleb discovered Dupont Circle fashions for men: mesh muscle tees and Lebow shorts. Week 2 in DC Summarized (me): I have become a bit of an observer this past week. Long days shape me/the working girl routine is definining my daylight social life as my role as DC Intern Extraordinaire is on display at the Longworth HOB nine hours a day. Hard nights break me/ I have slept through my nights knowing work starts early each morning, missing out on Jamie dancing on blocks, Natalia fending off overeager 18-year-old clubgoers and Adrian making up names for people in CITC after $70 Long Island Iced Teas, like "Bah-HAHA," "Tsunami," and "Subaru." Next week I won't need to stay home while they party. Granted they all have days off during the week, but like I said in high school "sleep is for sissies!" I'm adapting. In all shapes and forms. The freak weather: no problem. I bought a $10 umbrella off a shady looking character off of Farragut West. The self-doubts: I have learned this past week to dismiss snide comments from jealous people. While I never wish anything bad upon anyone it was something else to witness someone fall down some slippery stairs after making some comments to me that made me feel, honestly, inferior. While I usually do not have a self-esteem problem, being in this city of high-caliber backgrounds and high-powered agendas for only one week it was all too easy to fall victim to such mindgames. Memo to self: If this were an episode of "DISMISSED" those 15-minutes of drama are now over, you are happy and in love and that corroded third-wheel has been kicked off the show. Furthermore, the California longings: I ate at CPK with Caleb. One BBQ Chicken pizza later I felt tons better. And finally, on Father's Day to complement Mother's Day and something that made my mom happy is that I attended a Catholic Mass with Caleb today at the first black Catholic church of DC--in Latin. Unfortunately, I took only one quarter of Latin my first semester at Berkeley (Latin school dropout, yup that's me)-- so, hodie latinae gaudium non est--meaning (I think) Latin is not (no longer) fun today. It was 10 AM. I felt just a bit lost. Caleb's singing in Latin was a highlight though. Go neumes. There is no music in this lab so the whole "what I am listening to" thing is defunct for the summer unless I figure out how to integrate sound into this machine. Until then have a quote:

Troy Dyer: There's no point to any of this. It's all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter becomes a cackle... and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.

posted by Gabby | 7:27 PM

I gave my first tour of the Capitol! Oddly enough, I still have not received any training... I didn't even know where to take the people on the tours. I had to stop and ask other interns where to go... quite embarassing. My only experience with sightseeing is when I ran amuck with Natalia on our day off (Thursday.) Just think "Dyck" or "Legally Blond 2," that's how we were. I seriously think our pictures are up somewhere, blacklisting us from ever working for the government again. Yep... that's me, "Jamie: Troublemaker." But as of late, I seem to have taken on the reputation as "Jamie: Drunken Whore." Funny this is, I didn't even drink! Nor am I a whore... at least I don't think I am...

We went to go visit Dr. McGinnis' house today, OG Cal in the Capitol director. He actually founded the program... very nice guy. Is now filthy rich and lives in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife, beautiful kids and a beautiful Golden Retriever. Kinda makes me want to up and move to DC to partake in the "American Dream." Though it's not LA, there are things about DC that I really love... and I've only been here for a week!!! I've still got lots of sightseeing to do...

Not the first time I went to a bar, but definitely the first time I had a friend so drunk, she blew kisses to every guy that she passed as she stumbled home. When asked where her ID was to get into our UC Center, she said, "Will my fake ID work? If not, we'll leave." I regretfully had to inform her that we weren't going to another bar, but going home to sleep. Interestingly enough, we all had a good time. We even had a guy try to walk us home. *shrug* Boy, do interns know how to party...

My first day day interning, here in Washington, DC... Gabby and I keep getting lost! Ironically, we always manage to stumble home. Instead of walking towards the UC Center from the Metro station after work today, we somehow walked in one big circle and ended up right where we started from at the station. We have yet to make it to the Safeway... we're told that it's about 4 blocks away. (The sad part is that we've tried to find the darn place twice already!)

I just found out tonight that Mr. Hayami will be in town in July... and he wants to meet up with me! Amazing, the man is driving cross country in a RV with his family. I'm supposed to be trained in giving tours around the capital on Wednesday, so when Mr. Hayami actually comes to visit, I should be a pro. Emphasis on SHOULD. We'll see how far I actually progress.

I met with Congresswoman Barbara Lee today. The Members were in session, so it was difficult to talk to them for very long. I'll update more as I attempt to take over the government. (Just kidding.) Crappers... ever seen "Enemy of the State"? (I know Caroline has... hahah.) I'm probably going to end up on some blacklist for that comment.

Contrary to all the other Capitol Hill interns, work hasn't been too boring... nothing that I haven't done for Wally: cutting newspaper articles, editting speeches, faxing, xeroxing and tons and tons of filing. Oooh... I even get to open Barbara's mail. But that's the one thing that worries me... Republicans totally hate her. I think she's even known as a "traitor to America," according to one website She's received tons of threatening mail and phone calls... with even a couple of suspected anthrax incidents. I think I am in the most high-profile, targeted office in Longworth... hmm... make that of all the Congressional delegates. Oh well, if anything happens to me, Gabbo will be right there with me in the office next door. Muhahahhaha.

FYI: People who search for "Jamie Raves" often end up at my site. I did a search today and discovered that Jamie Raves is actually a very famous male gay escort. *shocked* We are NOT to be confused.

Moving sucks... if anybody questions why, please read this.

Am loving LA life. Where else can you catch a movie and then get a breakfast burrito 24 hours of the day? The Italian Job was excellent. Great action... very much a thinking movie, like Spy Game. But for some reason, nobody else seems to like Spy Game as much as me. So if you didn't like Spy Game, the Italian Job was better than that. And if you DID like Spy Game, the Italian Job was just as great.

Never in my 20 years of existence have I ever felt as sh.tty or as beat down as the past couple of days. I've been attributing my negativity to the multitude of things that have gone wrong; from housing drama to internship problems to ASUC staffing to more housing drama (and now sore limbs). But alas, my partner in crime knows me best... I'm stronger than all that. Those weren't the reasons why I was in a slump... just the scapegoat. My one weakness is in dealing with emotions, and that was the root of it. I tried to fool myself into thinking that I'm independent enough to not let these things get me down. But when it comes right down to it, I'm just like every other person. I'm no Raskolnikov – the rules of the heart pertain to me, too. The one person that I wanted and needed the most didn't want to be there for me... and that's what really hurts. Mrs. Wellenstein was right. You make time for the things that are important to you... and apparently, I wasn't important enough...

Damn the Reddys. Not only did they take an AXE to Gabbo and Caroline's dresser (Story here), their wretched upkeep of their properties force me to inhale paint chips. Yes, when normal people eat FOOD, we eat paint chips. Mind you, we don't do it by choice. Their shoddy paint job chips at a mere graze. I can't believe we have to clean this place up or face not getting our deposit back. This place is already the dumps. They're gonna think that we trashed the place when in actuality, this is how it was.

UPDATE

We have sold all our furniture. No more. Craigslist DOES work!

SELLING ME OR THE COUCH?

So the funniest story I've heard in awhile... my friend Eric Chen, who goes to Occidental informed me about the couch that my roommates are selling. Apparently his friend, Karen, who goes to Berkeley, saw our posting on Craigslist and told him, whom then told me. Hmm... I wonder how they knew it was me??? Anybody need a couch?

Only $70!!!! Now only $65!!!!

Finals are long gone and done with, but I'm still learning...

It's funny how things change – one minute you think you're on top of the world, and the next, you're swimming in a dark abyss of nothingness. I learned a lot about myself today. For the first time, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. But I guess it's part of growing up, and I've got a lot of that to do. I learned that it's okay that I don't always have all the answers. The pain's still there, but it's making me stronger...

I'm done with school, but yet the pressure is far from over. We're still homeless. My future is uncertain. And I want to go home. I wish I could take on a more "screw everything" mentality. But this is me and that's just not possible. I'm being selfish and I can't think about anything else but going home. But I can't go home until I have a "home" here. And even if I do go to my real home in LA, I won't be able to be there long because of some stupid @$$ internship that I honestly am not excited about. It's not Barbara Lee that disinterests me, cuz I think she's one cool lady, it's just the thought of DC. Everybody always says, "You'll be having the time of your life," or "You're moving on to bigger and better things." Big whoop. I'm a homely girl. I need to go home. I haven't seen my family in WAY too long! After the stupid DC internship, I gotta immediately come back to some hell hole here at Berkeley and prepare for next year.

No Vegas vacation for me. No trip to Mammoth with Kris and her family. No basketball with my brother for hours on end. No all night Super Smash Bros. marathons with my siblings. No midnight run to J&S for breakfast burritos. No movies with 4 hot boys (Jerry, Jeff, Jared and Randall). No secret rendezvous to get Albertson's chicken or Subways for lunch when my mother tells us to make P&J sandwiches. No cheering for my brother at all his basketball/baseball/volleyball games. And no invigorating young minds to prepare them for college.

Yeah yeah... summer in DC. Personally, I think this summer might suck...

F*CK. For a girl that was once Miss Optimism, I'm really hating on a lot of things right now.

I'm hating the fact that...

...I have to write this paper that I know nothing about
...my paper is worth 40% of my grade
...I have until 3 pm tomorrow to turn it in
...I'm staring at a blank word doc
...I ever took this class
...Brady gave us this assignment
...people are out having fun right now without me
...all the other UC people aren't dealing with finals right now
...that I'm still homeless for next year
...my UCLA friends are barely dealing with housing issues, damn sheltered people living in the middle of Westwood
...I spread myself so thin that there's never any time for anything else
...my family and friends have been secondary to my work
...issues from the past still aren't resolved
...the ASUC elections have taken such a toll on my life
...my grades have gone from crap to crappier
...I'm hating so much when what I really hate is myself

FINALS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

Disclaimer: This entry is not intended to sound R-rated. I was simply trying to document a very low point to my day.

I really shouldn't be complaining, considering that I have just one paper left, and then I'm done. Maybe my stress isn't with finals, but with everything else that is going on in my life. Either way, I finally take my much-needed shower today. Don't ask how long I've gone without showering... I think my stench was beginning to permeate all the way to Caroline's desk in the bedroom.

Anyway, so the shower... I take a fairly long one, cuz, hey, I needed it. I was practically done and drying off when all of a sudden, I felt all light-headed. My first reaction was "Oh shoot... I'm gonna black out here in the bathroom, hit my head on the faucet, splice open my head and be sent to the emergency room... all while I'm still naked."

I somehow managed to garner up enough strength to make it to the bedroom, and that is where I ended up passing out... yes, still naked. I think I was passed out for over 10 minutes before I finally came to. I still feel very queasy right now and as weak as ever. And with that said, now wiill somebody please write my paper???

Aaron's right... I SHOULD have a little bit more faith...

In a strange turn of events, Gabbo and I will be working RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER this summer!!!! How great is that?! Apparently Hilda and Barbara must be best friends, or the worst enemies, because their offices are right next to each other. And their respective interns, Gabbo and me, will whistle all the way to work each morning, hand in hand. Haha, maybe not... but you get the picture. 1724 and 1725 Longsworth House Office... that's the place to be.

Inspired by a conversation at 2:27am:

Hurdler4life04: i need to help you???
Hurdler4life04: you've never needed anyone's help

Huh... is that how people see me? An ice queen? That's exactly the image I don't want to portray. I guess being independent has its drawbacks. I don't mean to dominate in every arena, but I guess my perception of confidence is often mistaken for dominance. Though I don't plan on compromising my values anytime soon, I know I need to find some kind of balance so as to not scare or push people away. It seems like the more I know, the more imperfect I become... thanks for royally screwing with my head.

Sometimes it's great being stupid...

It turns out I have an extra day to finish my 25-page paper. Technically, it's not an extra day granted to me. The extra day was there all along, I'm just too stupid to realize when my deadline is. For some reason, I kept thinking that my final was Thursday instead of Friday. And since my paper is due on the day of the final, I seriously thought my paper was due in 9 hours. *sigh* It's great knowing that I have until Friday, considering that I'm only at 10 pages. I guess this gives me another 24 hours to goof off before I start freaking out again. Wow... what a vicious cycle.

My sister on being a news editor:

"It's not boring... it's informative and conservative."

She's such a Republican!

Update: I have an internship. *yay* But still no housing... though place across Dog and Cat Hospital is looking pretty darn good. Now to add to the problems: my position in office is threatened because I might not be progressive enough? There is no pleasing ANYBODY! If I'm on the edge, this is why.

There have been quite a few things weighing heavily on my heart. In order to not worry my parents, I haven't told them all my troubles, the biggest one being housing. It's much easier to be brave for someone else than for yourself. But I think I'm close to breaking... actually, on several occasions, I've actually been there. On top of everything, my grades aren't looking too great this year. Life's a bunch of trade-offs. The ASUC presidency or grades? No internship or no money? Lakers or the Kings? Hahha, just kidding. That's an easy one... LAKERS! Now if they'd only give me a win to cheer me up...

Wow. Just realizing how often I sweat the little things. It's one of my greatest attributes, as well as my greatest fault. I guess I just aspire to live in this perfect little bubble, and when things don't always go my way, it's as if the bubble pops and I'm left tasting the bitterness of reality. Reminder: Jamie, face the world... as scary as it might seem.

I have faith that things always work out in the end. I WILL find an internship. I WILL find an apartment. I WILL be okay.

Rarely do we have Girls' Night Out. Rarely do we get attacked in a feeding frenzy of overly perverted and horny males. Rarely do I come back feeling so dirty. Take your pick and read more: Gabby, Elaine, Caroline

Partisan politics suck. I'm finally back from the Marathon Senate meeting, which went for over 24 hours.... STRAIGHT! As tired and beat-up as I feel right now, I'm sure the senators feel 10 times worse. On top of being tired and hungry, the last senate meeting of the year always leaves people feeling so dejected and run-down, with tensions running high and emotions running wild. With a deficit of over $100,000, it was exceptionally difficult to balance a budget. As always, the Recruitment and Retention groups got jacked of their money. Sadly, the more I learn, the more racism I see. Maybe I've been blind for the past 20 years. Or perhaps I just refused to take off my blind-fold. But now I see.

I now also know for sure that I put the right person in office. Kris announced that he would take a cut in his office in order for other student organizations to get more funding, despite the serious financial crisis that the Association is in. The Office of the President has exactly $9.000 to play with for the whole year... not much money, but I think we can still make a lot of good changes by making the campus a more politically-minded and academically challenging environment.

Overall, much props to all the senators that stuck it through. And a even bigger round of applause to all the student groups that stayed the whole night to fight on behalf of their organization. It never ceases to amaze me to see the level of passion that Cal students have in fighting for a cause. And tonight... I sleep.

Last night, my two-year journey came to a halt. And today, I embark on a new adventure. Two years in the making, and I have finally put the rightful man in office. In a LANDSLIDE, Kris defeated Daniel by close to 1300 votes. But this entry isn't about Kris. This entry is about all the people that I've neglected throughout this process. And at the risk of sounding like a acceptance speech at the Grammys, I NEED to thank quite a few people.

First off, my roomies. Gabbo... you're the reason why I followed my heart in the first place. And yes, Kris does owe you BIG. Women of Haste... thank you for putting up with me this year and allowing me to turn our apartment into a freakin' campaign headquarters. Sorry for bringing random people over to our place at all hours of the day. Thanks for all the support and guidance and frustration that I put you all through. Thanks for slapping some sense into me when I'm dead on the bed and can no longer move. Thanks for putting up with my dirtiness, even when I smell like a mixture of sweat and sunblock after a long day of campaigning. (And yes, Zairel, next time I do laundry, you CAN jump on the clean pile.)

To my other Kris: Kristen. I'm sorry for neglecting you for the past couple of months. You're still my best friend, and I still miss flipping your hair. Thanks for giving up everything and coming out to visit me that one weekend. I really needed you.

To Teresa: my popular and famous former roommate... I never got to thank you for being so understanding of my ways last year. You were supportive and motherly and you fed me!!! You're wonderful, and I miss you like crazy!!!!

Thank you, Aaron, for always reminding me just how close the race was gonna be. And though it used to drive me crazy, I now thank you. You pushed me to work even harder. And through all the tears and frustrations, I thank you for standing by me.

Ben: I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder this whole year. I'm sorry that every time I call you, it's cuz I need a favor. You mean a lot to me and I'm just glad that time isn't my enemy anymore and that I'll be able to visit you more often. (If you want me to... just make sure you don't doggy-pile on me. I'm weak now.)

To Brett, Caleb, Patrick, Hector, Gustavo, Mike, Paolo and Camille: My inspirations throughout campaigning. Just when I thought that I couldn't take it anymore, you guys were there cheering me on. Thanks for always stopping by at the CalSERVE base to see how I was doing. And for the times that you were out campaigning, your dedication drove me to work even harder.

And lastly, the CalSERVE family... though there were times when the "collective-decision making" would drive me crazy, I DID believe. It's gonna be a wild year. But I'm ready...

How Kris SLAUGHTERED Daniel

CRASH

Here I am, sitting at the apartment. The Reddy people are running around on the 2nd floor, just banging away and making a ruckus. They apparently seem to be fixing something somewhere near the bathroom (judging by the number of bangs). Every so often, I'll hear a really loud thud and I always turn, expecting to see a Reddy man come crashing into our apartment. (Hopefully nobody lands *on* me!) However, if somebody does comes crashing through, I shall be expecting to get a hefty compensation check in the mail, in addition to the Penthouse. Though I like Herman, Nermeet and Duc... I think I love the Penthouse more...

JUST LOUNGIN'

It's a great feeling to wake up and not have to do anything. Over 24 hours of fun with Aaron today, complete with good eating. Here were the highlights:

YAY #1: Lakers won! Awesome game, but I basically predicted the outcome even before the game started. I JUST knew that my Kobe would pull through for the Lakers.

YAY #2: I know that I could easily have tagged it on right after YAY #1, but this one is too good to not have it's own category.... THE KINGS LOST!!!!

YAY #3: Reminiscing about the days of the past. Lots of good exchanges of stories. It's really nice to have finally found somebody that I can connect with at all levels.

YAY #4: I.B. Hoagies AND Thai Basil... man, I ate like a king today (like a queen?) Thanks to my special guy for bearing the elements and making food runs... and getting my order right!

YAY #5: No class til noon tomorrow!!!!

Life is good... at least for the time being. (Never mind the two 20-page papers I must write by next week!!!!)

Darn PS 118AC paper... I dislike Judy Chu more than before! She hasn't done jack sh.t for Rosemead. Why are we the bastard child of SGV? Friggin' Gabrielino essentially gets a brand new school... and I'm still fighting to make sure my trash gets picked up every Monday along with the rest of the city of San Gabriel. Hmmm... politics sure ain't fair. I should've voted for that Fred Balderrama guy... at least he taught me how to play pool.

I know I haven't blogged in a long time. All I can say is that I'm so tired that every part of my body aches... all the way down to the ends of my hair. However, on the flip side... I saw Kobe play live tonight for the very first time! LAKERS ROCK! Kobe had 44 points and basically flew!!!! Move over Michael Jordan, there's a new legend in town. Caroline and I waited around after the game and watched all the players board the bus. Man... soooo much fun! To top it off, our "friend" Carlos got arrested for being a die-hard fan. Hahah, hilarious.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GABBO

My days are starting to all blend in together. I don't even know night from day... I don't even know where I'm living anymore. I'm neither here nor there. All I know is that I'm exhausted and it is time for bed.

It is doomed before it even begins...

Sheisty people get what they deserve. I have just witnessed a crime and yet I have no idea what the heck happened! I was walking back to the apartment after getting a huge tri-board and I was rounding the corner to our humble street when all of a sudden, I was roughly shoved into the shady computer store. All I remember were 3 big guys. The one that shoved me was a big black guy with corn-rows and huge studs on his ears. I had NO idea what was going on until after the owners (Asian couple) came running out after the 3, also roughly pushing me aside. The lady shouted, "Ah, they got away. Call 911!" Guess where the three big scary guys went? Er, down our street! So now, I'm a bit scared about everything. The worst part of it all is 1) I don't know what happened, and 2) I don't know where they went! *shrug*

Aside from my scary encounter... Walking down Sproul is great. I LOVE hearing, "You're Kris' campaign manager? I'm gonna vote for him." I still stress out, but at least it's a good stress today. *smiles*

Definitely a good day... lunch break and all. Floating on cloud 9, well deserved after a very crummy day yesterday.

I now know what it feels like to be high on life. It's such an amazing feeling. Caleb... you should probably stop reading now because the rest of this entry will be very cheesy, but I can't help BUT feel the way that I do. I have just experienced THE MOST amazing and moving night of my life. Never in my wildest dreams could I ever imagine that such an event would be possible. However, tonight, Kris proved that the ASUC IS capable of bringing a diverse community together and work to achieve one united cause.

Kris approached me with the idea of Relay for Life last semester and I have been the one opposing voice throughout the process. Honestly, how many college students would give up their Friday night AND Saturday morning to walk on some stupid track?! Well, try over 2,000 students! And how about adding $30,000 (and counting) to that number? It was nothing BUT successful! The Luminaria ceremony was so touching... over 300 candles lit in a row, each one representing a person that either battled cancer and survived or a loved one that passed away due to the disease. Words cannot express what I felt tonight... and for a girl that has something to say about EVERYTHING, it's quite a change for me. Complete with good friends and good people with hearts of gold, all of a sudden, nothing seemed to matter. I didn't care that I was completely drenched from head to toe, or the fact that I was as cold as ice, or that I was so hungry I could eat a horse... I was lost in the moment. I can't even begin to describe the warmth felt in my heart... all I can say is that it is a good feeling.

Tonight, a community REALLY came together. People from all walks of life came together and made something beautiful happen. I have renewed faith in mankind... this is the reason why I joined the ASUC: to help people, to do good. I'm still in awe of what Kris did tonight and as his campaign manager, I have never been as proud of him as I was tonight. Through all the arguments, the laughter and the tears, THIS is the reason why I do what I do... all the sleepless nights, the loss of weight, the physical and emotional frustrations... I witnessed a miracle tonight and it has given me hope.

Hmmm... very confused. Drunken confessions only lead to trouble.

Hook, line, sinker... YES!

SUCH A LOSER...

Who you ask? Answer: me! Finally met a really mean bus-driver today. He didn't close the door in my face, nor behind me, but ON me! Who the hell gets crushed by a bus door?! Ooh, me, me... pick me! Grrr...

THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

Much to your disappointment, this entry isn't about sex... I usually leave that up to my former roomie, Teresa. (Shameless plugging for y'all to read Sex on Tuesday columns!) If there's one thing I realized tonight, it's that guys and girls are built competely different. As in my conversation with Elaine tonight, which sparked this blog entry... besides the obvious physical differences (duh!), males and females handle things in different manners. Maybe it's because of the testosterone or maybe I'm just completely WAY off base, but guys tend to internalize all pain and frustration. Like a soldier, they keep taking it and for that, men truly amaze me. It's kinda like a "Show No Mercy" tactic.

For girls, it's a different story. Of the two genders, girls tend to be more emotional and sensitive about things. Now, I'm no typical girl, but I think I'm starting to fall right into that category. I'm usually pretty rock solid when it comes to being professional. I don't normally let my emotions get in the way. I'm a trooper, I keep fighting until I get what I want. But lately, each day is a battle for me and at the end of the day, I'm battling myself to try and keep the tears in. I don't think guys really understand that... at least, not about me. I'll say a thousand times that I'm okay, but I'm really not. I don't want to show any weakness, but it's definitely been an uphill battle. Thank goodness for girlfriends... they know the true me, whatever that is...

It feels good to be called "princess" every so often... feels even better to be treated like one.

RANDOM INTERNET SURFING

It's ridiculous how much sh.t talk goes around... I decided to do some random internet surfing today and came across the strangest things! Apparently due to my close ties with Kris, a certain political party is said to “already be looking for dirt on the campaign manager, trying to discredit her because she’s a Republican (!) (Or so I’ve been told.).”

Ladies and Gentlemen, that is THE MOST absurd thing I have ever heard!!!! First of all, I DARE you to find dirt on me! Secondly, I like Gray Davis… sorry, NOT a Republican! And thirdly, if you need to “discredit” me for any reason, obviously your candidate is a loser to begin with. Win based on your own damn qualifications, please! If you can’t do that, you don’t deserve to be president.

Sorry, for those of you interested in reading the site from where this entry stemmed from, I’m sorry, I cannot link it on this site. I don’t want said political party to come snooping around here.

GO SHAWTY, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY...

Being 20 isn't sounding so bad after all, thanks to all my wonderful friends and their birthday wishes. Ben kidnapped me early this afternoon and took me to the Super DC. It was nice "spending every waking moment" with him... gosh, haven't done that in AGES! (Thanks for lunch, Ben!) A special thanks to Jerry for letting us crash at his place. Hurray for video games and Mondo Gelato! Planet Rock the Block was also super cool tonight.

My roomies are the BEST! Zairel gave Caroline a heart attack and surprised me with balloons and a lifetime's supply of my favorite chapstick in the world! I probably also have a lifetime's supply of meat stashed in the fridge from Caroline, Gabs and Caleb. (Okay, in Jamie-terms, the stash will probably only last me for a couple of days...) Yay for beautiful flowers, Zachary's pizza and the most beautiful cake I have ever seen. Plus, I treated myself to an even greater selection of Kobe pictures for my screen-saver. Being 20 is good. Having good friends makes it even better.

To Allie Mac: Though every year, you steal my special day, I just wanted to also wish you a very happy birthday! You poor Leap Year Baby, just know that you're a wonderful person and someone that I'm so proud to call my friend. I'm glad to be sharing my special day with you. Love you and miss you much. Happy birthday! (Don't worry, you'll have an actual birthday next year!)

On the eve of my transition from "teenagedom" to "adulthood" you would think that after being around for 19 years, geez, I oughta know a thing or two about my identity... where I'm from and where I'm going. Huh, funny thing is, I think I'm facing identity issues. In my favorite Poli Sci class today, our guest speaker was the Honorable John Chiang of the State Board of Equalization. He's such an amazing speaker with great stories to tell. He told stories about his Chinese parents and their wishes for each child to grow up and become a doctor. Ironic that 3 out of the 4 children all majored in Poli Sci. He also told stories of discrimination when they first immigrated over and lived in a predominantly black community. How their apartment window was the target of rocks thrown by rowdy teenagers that lived nearby. How when all the other school kids had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he had rice with eel on it. How the bathrooms of his elementary school was such a terror for him, for fear of being the center of mockery among the big bullies that hung out in there. How his parents worked so hard to give them a better life…

Listening to these stories, I realized I am him! I went through the same time… the fear of going to the bathrooms cuz the girls would always pull open the door right when my pants would be around my ankles (darn those doors that never locked!), how my little Hawthorne apartment windows were always bombarded with eggs, how I was considered the strange Chinese girl with strange lunches each day. These memories… I’ve carried them with me forever, yet why is it that I needed somebody to retell these stories to me for me to remember them? I think whether intentionally or unintentionally, I have blocked out these horrible memories. I no longer physically SEE myself any different from other people. I think I’m normal… and I think sometimes I even consider myself “white” or “Mexican.”

If there was one thing I got out of class today, it’s to make a statement by being me and being proud of who I am. Though I may not be able to change society and the way we are subconsciously segregated because of different support groups, I can make something out of the life that I was given. That means, while being proud of my own culture, we need to also be aware of other cultures and celebrate those cultures. I can make a difference based on the actions I take, but more importantly, I need to recognize the effects that my actions have on others.

Dinner was at Fu Lin’s tonight (I really should be the poster-child for Fu Lin!). I learned that Elaine (the co-owner) is from Hong Kong and she also speaks Mandarin. We spoke for quite awhile and she confided in me that sometimes she doesn’t know why she came to the States. She left a life of luxury to scrub floors and serve a bunch of Berkeley students. Why, I asked. She answered, “For rights. You don’t get rights in Hong Kong… but life here is hard. I make very little.”

Growing up in the United States, I think I have taken for advantage the rights that we have, cuz I haven’t experienced it any other way. But maybe it’s time that I start using my privileges to uplift others. I can’t mask the fact that I’m Chinese, but I can exist and make a statement with my living.

Kobe... MVP!

DATE WITH KOBE

Whoo hoo, I am now the proud owner of Lakers-Warriors tickets!!!! April 16th... countdown to my very FIRST time ever seeing Kobe live! A semi-dream come true. As big of a fan I am of him, I have never been able to see him play in person. Which is odd, because I've been a huge Kobe-fan since Day 1. I liked him so much that I named my cutie-patootie of a puppy after him.

So fiasco to purchasing tickets... darn Ticketmaster would not accept on-line purchases last night. So I call Mr. Ticketmaster man this afternoon. After much transferring between departments, they finally connected me to the right person... Ben something or other. Nice guy. Caroline and I, in order to get the much-desired Lakers tickets, had to buy a package of 3 games. By the end of April, I'm sure the two of us will be very familiar with the whole Warriors team, along with the Arena in Oakland. We are now the ticket-holders of Warriors games against the Utah Jazz (down with Malone!!!!), the Los Angeles Clippers (yay Andre Miller, Q and "Magget"!!!!!!) and the World Champion Los Angeles Lakers!!!!! A very nice early birthday present to myself, indeed!!!!!

Stolen from somebody obviously very wise...

"Old debaters never die, they just start to judge."

Nobody better challenge me to a eating contest. I'll CREAM ya!

SPEECH MAN WANTED

You can always tell when a person was a product of high school speech and debate. Case in point #1: Patrick from Leland. Case in point #2: Yelda from Logan. I'm still not sure what it is that makes it so distinguishing... maybe it's the way they carry themselves? the way they speak? the way they act? the way they scream professionalism? the way they can persuade you about anything and everything? the way they think? Um... I choose all of the above. *dreaming about a speech man of my own*

Every night, before I slip into bed, I feel as if I've been run over 10 times with a bulldozer (given my past, that's a very likely possibility). I go to bed with a heavy heart and toss and turn all night long. My mind races with all the things I need to do, or should be doing, that a good night's rest is never achieved. Hence, why I haven't blogged in ages. You may ask why I torture myself so... even I've found myself asking that for the past couple of weeks.

However, last night has renewed the spark and excitement. I now understand why I do it... it's for the cause. People have sacrificed so much for me, it's my turn to do the sacrificing. My college experience has not been heightened by the classes I attend or the lectures I miss, but rather by the people I meet... and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

This Boeing is going.

--Flight Attendant, 9:34am, Flight 801 LAX to OAK

I'm a girl... I'm not Superman. I'm not made of steel. Ryan Knowles always taught me not to show weakness. (Dayum, that man is AMAZING!) However, this is the one time that my weaknesses are starting to show. I forget that I can't do it all, nobody can. Ironic that I need to be doing 10 things at once in order to be happy... something is horribly wrong with me.

NICE PEOPLE ROCK!

I don't know about the monsters that Gabs and Zairel have encountered on the 65, but ALL my morning Route 65 bus drivers have been so gosh-darn NICE!!! Today's bus driver really shines above them all. She had the sweetest smile and greeted every passenger that boarded with a "Good morning, how are you doing?" Upon reaching destination, she wished each us all "a wonderful day." Man, if only more people were nice like her...

NO MORE 8AM CLASSES!!!

I have NEVER been in winds so strong before... in all my traveling, from the mountains of Taiwan, to the harbors of Maine and even the ice boxes the Colorado Rockies, I have never seen winds so strong to the point where I can't even walk straight anymore. I literally thought that all 110 of me was gonna go flying off. While passing by Hearst Annex, I saw a guy struggle and fight to get to his classroom... only to walk drunkenly into a lamp post. (And no, I'm sure it wasn't because he was drunk.) I just don't understand Berkeley weather. The sun is freakin' out!!!! So why were winds as high as 35 mph this morning?! My hair is currently incredibly huge, and I didn't even style it that way today on purpose!

EXCUSE ME FOR BEING BOLD...

Okay, so, rant: I'm SO SICK of these so-called "AZN THUGS"!!!!! Once again, another "On the way to class..." stories. So, I'm walking to LeConte this time and this typical Monterey-Park-looking-squatting-chain-smoker-Rice-Rocket boy gives me the once-over and then proceeds to start staring me down. Okay... hold up, what is the deal with that??!?! Yeah, I see you lookin' at me. You think staring me down is gonna get me to smile at you and hand over my telephone number?! Uh, sorry buddy, doesn't work that way. I gave Mr. AZN a dirty look while he continued to stare at me over his shoulder. Okay, not that there was all that much to be staring at in the first place... but geez, buddy, try a different approach next time. Drop the "Gotta look hard," act!!!!

Same thing happened on the way back from campus while I was walking down Shattuck. Same situation, different guy. I thought I turned down UCI to get away from all this...

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GABS DOESN'T GO TO CLASS...

So there I was, humming along to class up to Hearst Mining, despite having an 8 in the freakin' morning class. The sun was out and it actually felt quite warm for horrid Berkeley weather. I turn the corner to walk through the narrow passageway that leads into the building when all of a sudden, this front shovel comes careening down the pathway. (Okay, so it wasn't really "careening" but it was moving pretty fast!) Like a deer caught in the headlights, I scream like a mofo! There it was... the spikes at the end of the shovel pointed directly at my chest area. It barely stops inches short of turning me into Jamie mince-meat pie. By this time, I'm wheezing up a storm after screaming my lungs out. The driver looks down at me coolly and says, "Haha, scared ya!" What the heck?! No more humming to class!!!

This is what my roomies and I think about at 3 in the morning: 1/26/03.

DEPRESSING... JUST DEPRESSING...

Grrr... my boys suffered a loss today. Cannot believe they just THREW the game away... to the Warriors, no less!!!! My only comfort is believing that the Warriors are like the Clippers – they beat teams that are good, but lose to everybody else. (Like the way the Kings lost to the Clippers... hahha, those LOSERS!)

Also on tonight... Trista, the Bachelorette, eliminated Rob! Rob was such a GREAT guy, definitely my #1 pick. Oh well... tonight just wasn't a good night for TV... but I'm sure Friday will be better. Nets, you guys are going down! (Even though I still like Kidd.)

BACK AT BERKELEY

I managed to catch my brother's game yesterday before I left for Berkeley. It was SUCH a great game! With 2.4 seconds left on the clock and just one point down, the coach tells the boys, "Just disperse." So the inbound play goes to my brother, who then passed it to – off one guy's head and another guy's arm – Brent. Brent shoots it right before the buzzer goes off. Nearly gave me a heart attack with a bounce at the front of the rim, a bounce at the back of the rim, and then a circle around the rim before it fell. TIGERS WIN BY ONE! Yay!

The ride over to the airport was the worst. Terri and Jerry didn't go with us to the airport, so I had to say goodbye to them at the house. It just kills me to have to say goodbye. I feel like I miss out on such a big part of their growth. I guess it's just the motherly instinct in me... plus Jerry's my little baby. Just thinking about all the basketball games I'll miss, all the Super Smash Brothers matches that I won't get to play, all the arguments that I won't be able to have with Terri... makes me all teary-eyed. But I promised myself that I wouldn't cry at the airport. Had to stay strong for the parents.

Once again, at the airport, I was strip-searched like a common criminal. Then I found out that my flight was delayed by a whole hour. Kris kept me busy for awhile by staying on the phone with me. We talked about her two "new friends." Haha. That playa. I managed to get bumped up to an earlier flight. I was the second to the last person they let on, so my choices for seats included sitting between two fat chicks or sitting in front of the already smelly bathroom. I chose two fat chicks. BAD DECISION! Not cuz of the two fat chicks, but cuz of the two valley girls that sat behind me. Their conversation consisted of, "Well, I'm a 3rd year majoring in bio... cuz yeah... cuz... like... like... you know... I dunno... bio's cool... I guess... " Ugh. You're a 3rd year?! Girl, learn how to speak!!!! I tried to fall asleep, but the two fat chicks took up the whole armrest... so I ended up flipping through the lastest issue of "SkyMall". They have some pretty spiffy stuff.

I came back to a dark, cold, and empty apartment. But the loneliness allowed me to gather my thoughts and recollect all the fun I've had over break. Perhaps the scariest part about my leaving home for college was the possibility that everything would change without me – as if I wouldn't fit in when I got back. It's nice to know my concerns were for naught. Life changes... but my place in the family doesn't...

WOOHOO

What a game... The Clippers killed the Kings tonight!!!! Did I mention KILLED?!!!! I lost my voice sometime during the 4th quarter from booing at Vlade and the rest of them SAC losers. Highlight of the night: Jackson got, not 1, but 2 technical fouls called on him at the same time and was kicked out of the game. The whole arena boo-ed the sucker out. Haha. Final score: 112-107. New found love for Andre Miller...

BACKTRACK
Forgot to mention all the other fun I've had since last Thursday...

Thursday
Turns out I only had dinner with one Mock Trial Coach... but had a lot of fun driving out to Huntington Beach and ate great food.

Friday
Out w/ Mr. Narumi to Tony Romas... ate like a king. (Not that I'm a guy, but I sure do eat like one. It's scary... had a 7 ounce steak and half a rack of ribs.) We also watched 25th Hour, starring Caroline's hubby Edward Norton. Once again, another amazing performance by Eddie. Pretty good movie, but like Caroline said, "Too many references to 9-11!"

Saturday
The wonderful Fullerton Speech and Debate Invitational where I judged my brains out. Scored dinner that night w/ Tony at Outback. (Yes, I've been eating a lot of steak... Gabby swears I'm on the Atkin's Diet without even trying.)

Sunday
Judged some more... laughed at the semi-finalists that Nermin, Gabs and I had to judge. Sad thing about that is, the speeches were supposed to be dramatic, not humorous! As Gabs and I later concluded, the two of us sealed the fate of those competitors... so sad. Haha, like Gabs and I, an extemper and an OO-er, really know anything about DI. By the end of the night, I got that same feeling I used to get after a long tournament. It's that feeling of being soooo horribly exhausted that you don't even have the energy to lift your hand to your mouth to put food in... forget about finding the energy to chew and swallow! I somehow managed to conjure up enough energy to spend a nice dinner with Gabs, Vero, Lauren, Paul, and Smitti and then drive the girls home. All in all, it was nice to play "Captain" for a day, even if I'm not really a captain anymore. Like I always say, I'll always care for the team. They made me so proud... 10 breaks into semi-finals. I love the novice kids, they're so cute!

Monday
Had lunch with Mr. Ashbran, Gabs, and Pablo. Haha, Mr. Ashbran is still the same. Goes off on random tangents, but that's why we love him. Also had a heart to heart w/ Pablo. So proud of him, our Pablito has grown up... he has reassured me that there are still good guys out there.

Tuesday
The Getty.

MR. PERFECT... ALMOST

Still kicking myself in the butt for not talking to "Sid" at the Getty... Outing w/ the roomies today to the beautiful Getty in Santa Monica. LOVED the Dorothea Lange exhibit. Also LOVED Monet's artwork... he's still my favorite painter. It never ceases to amaze me the way he can paint so that his work looks like a bunch of random brushstrokes up-close, but it all comes together and creates an image once you back up and take in the whole picture. Very symbolic... the way we fuss over minor details and miss out on important things in life, yet everything becomes much clearer once we see the bigger picture. We also figured out where Caroline's wedding reception will be... in the Central Garden. Ahhh, sooo beautiful! For Caroline's wedding, all the guests will sit on surfboards in the middle of the stream while Caroline sashays down the dirt ramp. (Good thinking, Gabs.) Haha. It's okay, Caroline, I'm sure renting out the Getty won't be all that expensive in a few years... *hopefully*

Anyway, onto Sid... not really Mr. Perfect's name, unfortunately, I don't even know what his name is! Mr. Perfect came strolling through the courtyard while the girls and I were sipping our mochas. There he was, all dressed in full suit and tie, looking so confident, poised, and handsome. He headed straight for the 3rd floor of the West Wing... straight for the Monets! (Yes, the girls and I followed him... discreetly, of course.) I noticed that he was carrying a flowpad (total plus! reminded me of a speech boy) and a book. What was the book? Only a book written by Hermann Hesse! Still in awe of ANY guy that reads Hermann Hesse! After that, we nicknamed Mr. Perfect "Sid", after Hesse's book Siddhartha. Sadly, he was not amused by the way I analyzed the way Monet portrays the bell towers in one of his paintings. (At least Gabs found it funny.) Through our detective skills (or rather, mostly Gabby's detective skills) we have come to the conclusion that he's a successful businessman that works near Santa Monica and goes to the museum to unwind after a long day's work. He's also a conservationalist that takes the Metro to work everyday, hence the book in his hand. And he's obviously a smart man that enjoys literature and Monet paintings... and stupid me, I've missed my chance...

THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR

These past three days, I have witnessed first-hand the legacy that I have left behind at Macy Intermediate School. Six years ago, I single-handedly brought competitive sports back to Macy after a 13-year breach. As an eighth-grader, I was a TA for Ms. Briley (now known as Mrs. Dean to all the young'uns). I remember during 5th period one day, I was going through some of the stuff that she gets in the mail (one of my daily tasks) and I came across an invitation to a girls' basketball tournament. I did some fast talking and managed to sweet talk her into letting us start a team. Kris, Karen and I became known as The Triple Threat. That year, we slaughtered every team but could not hold our own against the smelly armpits of the Suva gigantors. (It sucks having a team of 5-feet and under girls!) We ended up taking a huge 2nd place trophy home that year, and it's been sitting in the library showcase ever since, along with our picture. Since that year, Macy has been an avid participant of competitive sports. This legacy has been carried on that I am now able to watch my little brother (the cutie) share the same experiences I had in 8th grade. It's truly been a joy watching all the boys play... it's nice to know that I've left behind something great.

Now a quick run-down of what I've been up to...

Monday
Went out with Allison, Abie and Corey. Laughed so hard my cheeks hurt even the following morning.

Tuesday
As dorky as this sounds, had a lunch date with my favorite teacher, Mrs. VanCott. Haha, being the two talktative people that we are, we were constantly fighting to get the other one to listen. *sigh* She makes me want to be a teacher all over again. Jerry was the highest scorer of the game, with 15 points... as was Kobe with 45 points. Was definitely a good day for basketball.

Wednesday
Took my little cutie out to try to get my mom a George Foreman Grill for her birthday. (Yes, the present serves selfish purposes, I know!) Darn Target... totally out of stock. Ended up at Blockbusters where I rented Goldmember for the cutie. He gave me a guilt trip, saying that Terri and I always go out with friends to watch movies that he wants to see, but nobody ever takes him. We watched that night... he loved it. However, I don't think that my dad was too happy about it. Apparently, he doesn't approve of the humor/content.

Today (Thursday)
Went to brother's game again... yay, they won! Went to the other Target in Whittier and got the George Foreman. Then returned The Sweetest Thing. (No late charges for Elaine!) And finally treated the siblings to In 'N Out... Mark made my fries while Eric toasted my buns. Haha. Now off to have dinner with my Mock Trial Coach (and currently brother's teacher), the other Mock Trial Coach and high school College Counselor. Wait, it gets better... tomorrow is with the high school Band Director...

OUR FOURSOME DOWN TO THREE...

Elaine pretty much got the gist of it... so refer to her blog for complete details. Yay for Pat and Oscars' PLUMP breadsticks, Caroline's impromtu piercing, pool, "Chicago" (mainly cuz of Richard Gere), junk food, Eric and Mark (hotties!), and last but not least... good friends.

OoOOooO... PARTY-GIRL JAMIE

Been out every night this week except tonight. It's been good, decent fun, but I must admit, I love sitting my on arse at home, too. Did nothing but stay in my pajamas all day and watch a bunch of mindless TV, including replays over the Rose Parade, over and over and over again. Being home in LA has been associated with my life without any stress. And though I do agree that some stress is often good, I desperately needed a break from all the stress that I was puting myself through at school. It's a nice feeling being totally carefree, again. I've spent so much time with Kris this past week that we're both on the verge of killing each other. LOL. (Just like Ike and Tina, right?) Gosh, how I've missed the friendship we shared in high school. Kinda sucks that we're on different UC campuses, but things should be a lot better after she takes her car up North. Then we'll be able to hang out all the time! Haha, don't know if that's a good thing or not...

New Year's was a lot of fun... hit up two parties in one night! Jane and Jilly's awesome birthday bash and then post-midnight drinking with my roomies. (Yes, Elaine, you are now an honorary Haste girl.) Okay okay, so I make things sound a lot more scandalous than they really appear to be. Party #1 consisted of playing Taboo, Guesstures, watching Lilo & Stitch, and eating tons of good Chinese food! (Hey!!! My kind of fun!) Then we counted down with Dick Clark and celebrated over some sparkling peach cider. Party #2 was at Elaine's house where Caroline and Elaine's "brothers" were getting down with sparkling cranberry cider. (Newsflash: Sparkling apple cider was soooo last year! Haha.) More movie watching, or rather, rewinding to watch some "Academy Award winning acting" from Drive Me Crazy. Go figure... crazy boys. Then we listened to Elaine's "brothers" free-style while Caroline and I listened from the kitchen. "Honest, I was just there cuz I was hungry!" LOL.

Conclusion: No crazy drinking party, no lip-locking at the stroke of midnight, no bumpin' and grindin' with guys... just good clean fun with old friends, just the way I like it. So what if people think I'm a big prude... I'm fun no matter what. Baby, I'm the life of the party.

GIRLS' NIGHT OUT

Out with Kristen all day... two malls, a gazillon stores, and we still got a couple of bucks left between the two of us. (Yay us!) Our day got off to a late start because of an emergency trip to the dentist, courtesy of me. I was shot up with Novocain, mangled by, drilled on, and criticized by my dentist. (I really oughta find a new dentist!) HE CALLED ME PRISSY!!!! Maybe I tend to be a bit picky when it comes to food, and I might be a tad overly concerned with my appearance, but that does NOT constitute being prissy! It's even worse when it's your dentist calling you that!!!

Either way, the Novocain wore off right as Kristen and I made it to Santa Anita's CPK. Yum... good stuff! The waiter even brought us tiramisu – on the house!!!! *SCORE* Over lunch, Kristen got mad at me for being picky with my food and stopped talking to me. Quote of the CENTURY: "You're stupid. Now serve me!" LOL, Kris is TOO funny! She also made me finish everything and lick the plates clean. I was so full! My stomach still hurts right now... Santa Anita turned out to be a total bust – didn't buy anything except food. But DID see old high school friends!

We skedaddled on over to Montebello to go boy-watching. Sadly, no Albert... but we did get in some X-mas shopping. You know you're in Montebello when you get cat-calls IN the mall; greetings like "Daaaamn, Ma!" and "OOooOOh, Mama, looking good!" (Quite different from the cat-calls received in SF and Downtown Berkeley.) Kris and I got a good laugh out of it all. And still... no Albert.

We came back home and ate dinner (yes, more food). Then we met up with the other ladies (Elaine, Gabs, Caroline, and Tracy) for a late showing of "Two Weeks Notice." I'm usually not the biggest fan of romantic flicks, but I have to admit, this one was pretty darn good. I guess we all relate to Lucy in some way. In my case, I AM Lucy, except I don't get Hugh Grant in the end. It's sad that I need a movie to tell me things about myself and why I'm not hooked up with Mr. Right. I guess Mrs. Wellenstein was dead-on when she was talking about going to the "Boyfriend Shop" to build your perfect man... sadly, it doesn't exist. Remember Jamie, marry the man, not the job...

X-MAS PARTY... DELTAMAX STYLE

Who would've thought that being in a room full of 40-something year old businessmen would end up being a night of utter fun. My dad's company throws the best X-mas parties! There was good food, lots of cheesy Karaoke singing, good food, dancing, and GOOD FOOD! I out-ate every man at the table and ended up being the life of the party. It was fun meeting up with my dad's coworkers again. Most of them haven't seen me in ages. I always get a kick out of their millions of stories about knowing me "when you were this little!" *holds hand out at knee height* And according to Kenny, no matter how much of a "young woman" I become in everybody else's eyes, I'll always be his "little tomboy".

Highlight of the night: I managed to steal a dance with Uncle Jack (dad's boss, whom I've known ever since I was born). Amazing... he still looks like an Asian Michael Douglas.

Revelation of the night: I'm attracted to older men because they're attracted to me! Sick, I know!! Once again, just reaffirms the fact that I'm a 40-year old woman trapped inside the body of a 19-year old girl. At least I managed to work the room and smoozed with all of my dad's big customers... so there's my good deed of the day.

All in all, a totally fun night. I laughed so hard that my jaw still hurts. Didn't think that spending time with people twice my age could be fun, but it was!!!! Already looking forward to next year's party...

GABBY HAS BEEN REINSTATED

Ahh... bribe me with Chevy's food and I go running right back. Even amid taunting, nothing can steal me away as I bite into the tastiest sliver of grilled steak ever known to mankind. Gabby, you are, once again, and forever will be, my best friend. (My, how easily I am swayed by food!)

MORE REASONS WHY GABS ISN'T #1 ON MY LIST ANYMORE...

1. She refuses to wrestle with me!

2. She scares me with her hacking from her flash strips. She sounds like the lady from Mad TV that says "AAAAaaAaAGgGGGkkKkKK... Gawd, that's cute!"

Read ... just mind blogging ... for more details.

UPDATES

Gabby is no longer my best friend. She has replaced me with *gasp* a BOY!!!! *more gasping*

Kristen is a playa... she's getting more action than me!!!!!

UPDATE ON LAUNDRY BOY

His name is Paul and he lives in #211. And he's really tall.

HOT GUY ON THE LOOSE

Must alert Caroline... hot white guy living in our apartment complex. I walk down this morning (okay... more like afternoon), thinking, "I need to do laundry." Still in my pjs, I trek down through our leaky complex to the scary garage/dumpster/washer/dryer area. Looking like crap and totally mismatched with my corduroy jacket over a HIC t-shirt and my green "I wish I may" star *pajama* pants, I run into the first potentially good-looking guy at the complex. What are the chances of both of us waking up and thinking about doing laundry... at the exact same time?!?!? Really nice guy though, he offerred to take out all his stuff and give me the washer. *FYI: he's a boxer-kind of guy.* Caroline, he looks like Gabe, but with a darker shade of brown hair.

In other news, I'm all done with two classes. Yesterday was perhaps one of the most productive days I've ever had. I managed to pull an all-nighter writing for my Rhetoric paper Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I seriously did NOT procrastinate on this paper and still ended up finishing at the last minute... 6:06 am, to be exact. I managed to sleep until 7:43 am (yes, precision matters!). I woke up, edited my paper, printed it out and took Caroline's car to go turn it in. Got back to the apartment at 9:04 and began to do PS hw. Finished at around 11 and then finally STARTED studying for the final that I had at 12:30 that day. Yes, it was a big scare. I've always studied for finals days and days in advance. But this time, I absolutely had no extra time. However, my hour of studying evidentally proved very effective. Everything that was on the test was what I had studied for... minus the stuff about Mills Method of Agreement and Difference. (Who the hell actually uses that?!) Either way, the test turned out to be not so bad... except the fact that I felt COMPLETELY drained afterwards. On my way home, I managed to finally grab a bite to eat and rent "12 Angry Men." (Partly for my enjoyment, partly for Rhetoric 20.)

Speaking of Rhetoric 20... our final is on Saturday... at 8am!!!! How unfair is that?! But thanks to Fievel, it is now at 8:30 am. Last night, I had this strange dream that the University wouldn't take my units for Rhetoric 20 because it wasn't a "real Rhetoric class." In all honestly, I also find the class a bit "hokey," to use Professor Clover's word. It's nothing like what I had to go through with Rhetoric 10. The whole class just seems WAY too easy for me for it to be a Rhetoric course. Rhetoric courses are usually so difficult for me. Gabs informed me this morning that Rhetoric 20 is going to be taught completely differently next semester. Those poor kids next semester...

Speaking of dreams... I dreamt that I met Colin Powell and Al Gore at a Senate meeting. And I blurted out, "Colin Powell!!! I want to work for you this summer! I'm going to be in DC!"

Okay, no more randomness... Conclusion: Managed to write a paper and study for final in under 12 hours. Now, THAT'S efficiency!

AND THE COMEDY CONTINUES

Me: Hey, read my blog. Daddy's funny.
Terri: OMG, I'm on-line? How did that happen? I thought I signed off!

*an hour later*

Me: Hey, you know you're still on, right?
Terri: Now I do... cuz you're talking to me.

*signs off in a panic*

MY DADDY IS TOOOOO FUNNY!!!

*phone rings*

Daddy: Hi, are you studying?
Me: Yes. Where are you? Are you driving home?
Daddy: Yup.
Me: Are you near the Bicycle Club yet?
Daddy: Yeah, I'm right outside... RIGHT OUTSIDE!
Me: OMG, are you gambling?!?!
Daddy: No, I'm just RIGHT outside... ooh, not anymore... just passed it.

*moments later*

Me: I bought Jerry a birthday present.
Daddy: Oh, I bought Jerry a birthday present, too... a shirt. From that blue place...?
Me: Anchor Blue?
Daddy: Yeah! Yeah, I bought him one of those "Daddy shirts."
Me: You mean a flannel?
Daddy: Yeah, those... "Daddy shirts" – but bigger.

*me rolling in laughter*

My problems aren't even problems at all... Here I am worried about finals and eventually turning into a "fat chick." But, in all honestly, my problems don't even compare. There are people out there that fight to just stay alive every day... and I'm fretting over a fucking test?!??! Life isn't fair. Good people don't deserve to die. Let's just hope my dreams are predictions of the future. Our everyday superficial problems don't even make the Richter Scale of worries... just remember that the next time something doesn't goes your way.

EXTRA WEIGHT

All I've done these past couple of days is eat, eat, eat... and then eat some more. My roommates seriously fear for my health. I used to tell myself, "Hey, I only live once. Why not make the most of what I eat?" I figure my metabolism is fast; I can eat a lot. But lately, I'm afraid that all these high cholesterol food that I've been indulging in will sooner or later catch up to me. I worry that I'm going to be a fat chick by the time I turn 25!!!! Heck, I've been snacking on Willy Wonka candy, doughnut holes, "Hot Cheetos", beef jerky, and drinking Pepsi Twist non-stop!

This fear has stemmed from a couple of things... First of all, while watching some special on E! today, they interviewed some lady who's had complications with giving birth, resulting in two miscarriages. The feature ended with her eventually giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. *Yay, happiness!* However, stupid me, the only thing I focused on during the whole segment was how much weight she's put on since she got married. The interview had been done at her house, with pictures of the couple's wedding as a backdrop. She was SOOOO thin in the pictures. And then I see this completely different person that's like 200 pounds heavier being interviewed and all I'm thinking is, "No way these two are the same person!!!!!"

Anyway, during this whole time, I was trying to put together Caroline's new elliptical machine. I finally finished by the time Caroline got back from her lunch meeting. Feeling pretty eager to try it, I got on the contraption. Let me be the first to tell you, 15 minutes of extremely strenuous exercise is not good for the head!!!! I got off the machine and felt horribly light-headed. I went into the bedroom, then to the kitchen and blacked out somewhere inbetween. I finally managed to get to the couch and just died there. I think it was a combination of being dehydrated and my asthma kicking in... but still, who the hell dies after 15 minutes of working out??? Don't remember much of anything else that happened until Zairel came home... just a bunch of crazy-@$$ dreams... but let's not go there, too many "What If's" for my mind to deal with at this point in life.

Conclusion: I will be fat chick in the near future.

HELLO CHARLOTTE

Instead of studying today... I decided to take an on-line quiz with my "Sex and the City" buddy, Gabs. Here's the verdict:

You scored 70% Charlotte
A romantic at heart, you chose the answers that demure Charlotte may have chosen. Strongly influenced by the intuitive, profound and sometimes naïve Water Signs -- Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces -- you're like a mother, a mystery and a poet all in one. Though on the surface you may seem innocent and all about seeking the good in people, beneath the surface, you hide secret yearnings for intimacy, for attachment and ideal love. You're seeking a knight in shining armor, a soul mate, someone who will complete you and tether you to the earth when you get carried away with your fantasies. You're super-sensitive, soaking up the moods of others; you emote freely, crying at commercials and sappy movies. You also provide a shoulder to cry on and open arms for hugs. Be careful that you're not so wide-eyed and trusting that you get taken in by some cunning wolf in sheep's clothing.

Did I REALLY need a quiz to tell me this??? I might as well BE Charlotte...

Take the Test For Yourself

ZAIREL WARNED ME...

... did I listen??? NO! Zairel told me that she lost her last blog entry cuz blogger has been on the blink lately. *sigh* Just wrote this long blog, all about Stan's big art debut, cartoon box people, GQ models, Hot-Japanese-Major-Art-Boy, Robert "drinking", a homeless man on Durant singing like Bob Dylan, naked man hooked up to some IV-looking thing in hospital scrubs at art exhibit, my schizophrenic stalker on Sproul who I've had to escape from 3 times today, and watching porn. (Yes, watching porn... inadvertently!) Alas... blogger did not post my entry and acted like I didn't blog at all! Maybe it wasn't meant to be... I even missed a big portion of the Laker game trying to blog!!!! Makes me mad!

So... instead, I'm going to write about the Laker game... Kobe is so freakin' amazing! I love the guy... would gladly be his mistress if he decided to profess his love to me. Would even take care of his soon to be children. If only... Dang, such an amazing game today! They freakin' came back from a 28-point deficit in the half! The Lakers are definitely back! If they can go from being big dummies and standing around watching the ball bounce to scoring 44 points in the 4th quarter, they can do anything. I laugh in the face of all those haters who said that Kobe couldn't amount to anything during his 1st year in the NBA. The guy's come a long way, and he's definitely got a lot more mileage in him... GO LAKERS! Proud fan since '88...

CHANCE ENCOUNTERS

It's always interesting to see who you'll bump into next on the bus. Tonight was a chance enounter with my Hot-Japanese-Major-Art-Boy. I ran into him a couple of weeks ago while taking the bus and we struck up a conversation. When I saw him today, he had finished his final project: a self-portrait. Quite an amazing piece of work. Second conversation and still no names exchanged... but it kinda keeps things interesting. There's still a hint of quiet mystery to him, though I do know that he's originally from the outskirts of Tahoe. Hmm... I wonder who I'll run into next...

Caroline didn't let me go beat-up the parking meter today. I was all set for a night of crime, minus a black wardrobe. But the Cerritos in Caroline stopped me from messing with the meter and now she may have to end up paying the $32... sometimes it sucks being good... We ended up standing in line at Safeway behind hottie Joe Shipp, paying for Gabby's pies for her Water Library potluck... yes, I know, how boring...

Last random comment: Luis now gets catalogs from Alloy, courtesy of me!

NAME THAT MOVIE

"You've got your father's eyes..."

"Yes, and my mother's ears... but the rest belongs to you."

My second favorite pick-up line thus far. My favorite is still Allison's! "Excuse me, is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I swear I see myself in your pants!!!!" (Now imagine long-haired Derek Yuill's expression when Allison said that to him!)

PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY VACATION AWAY!

My Thanksgiving was soooo nice... so relaxing. Mom cooked the best Thanksgiving feast. I lounged around like a freakin' couch potato and watched the Harrison Ford Thanksgiving Day marathon... watched 6 of his movies! (The Witness, Clear and Present Danger, 6 Days, 7 Nights, and all three original Indiana Jones movies.) Around midnight, they started replaying the same movies. That's when I said, "No more!" and switched over to the Mark-Paul Gosselaar TV marathon (errr... technically the NYPD Blue marathon on Court TV). I'm not a big fan of the show, so I watched most of it muted, which ended up being a lot better. Didn't really go to sleep until sometime after 4am... however, it was quite an enjoyable day. Who could ask for more??? 24 hours of Harrison Ford AND Mark-Paul Gosselaar!!!

Had dinner with the parents and Jerry last night at well-known beef noodle restaurant. It's official... both Dad and Jerry called me a Fat Chick... and busboy was amazed with my eating abilities. Apparently 3 bowls of noodles is a lot for a girl my size. *shrug* At least my pants still fit...

One last note: I need to find a different dentist!!!! I had to go to him 3 times before he was able to fix my cavitiy! The first time, he didn't even find the cavitiy, despite my persistency. The second time, he fixed it, but apparently it hurt even more than when I had the cavitiy. I went back to him the third time and it turns out that the filling was smashing my gums and thus affecting the nerves underneath the tooth... *sigh* I want my old dentist back. This young kid (old dentist's nephew) still needs a lot of work!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TERRI!!!!

Here's irony for ya... Gabs has a sister born on Thanksgiving, I have a sister born on Thanksgiving, too! Terri and I went out for dinner together, just the two of us. It was really nice being able to catch up with her. Guess what? We're actually able to carry on an intelligent conversation now without saying "You're stoopid!" every ten minutes. Terri, have a great 16th!

Here I sit... waiting for a darn E-book from Amazon. Why in the world, you ask, am I be purchasing an E-book??? I need to read this darn book called Embedded Autonomy by Peter Evans for Soc 5. I'm not a cheap person, I really DID intend to buy this book. I even tried to go get the book last Thursday. But the funniest thing happened... both Neds and the ASUC Bookstore are already restocking for next semester!!!! I'm so late that I can't even purchase any more books for this semester! I figured they'd probably be done by today. Ha! I went in there looking like a loser cuz the lady said, "Honey, most the other students have already bought all their books this semester. We're not selling any more books!"

I left Gabs drooling over Jake in Rhetoric 20 early so that I could go to the Berkeley Public Library to check out the book. I ended up with some dsylexic librarian *literally* who couldn't help me if her life depended on it. Disheartened, I left the library empty-handed. I thought I could just cheat the system and call up my friend and ask her to summarize the book for me. Let me tell you... it sucks having a conscience... I just couldn't do it. I just HAD to read the book for myself. I'm getting desperate... I have to turn in a page-long paper of what I thought about the book. One-page, no biggie... but I just feel like I NEED to read the book. I finally broke down and just bought the sucker via E-book. (I hate having to read things on-line... it hurts my eyes!) So now I sit here waiting for the file to be e-mailed to me. Paper due in 7.5 hours and counting...

I thought by coming to Berkeley I'd eventually break out of the Schurr circle... not that there's anything wrong with Schurr guys, they're actually probably some of the most gentlemen-like guys I've ever met. But I was just hoping that Cal would offer me some variety; show me something different. But it seems like the harder I try, the more I find myself confined to the Schurr circle... it looks like it's back to Square One for me...

It's funny how people try to make themselves look better by putting others down... the Napolean Complex... lately, I've been subjected to it so much that I know it all too well. Politics is such a dirty game. Innocent, naive people get hurt in the process... and that hurts the most. It's not so much me that I'm worried about... I'm already hardened by the whole ordeal. It hurts my heart to see other people get pummeled and steamrolled by this nasty game. I applaud those that search deep in their hearts and do things out of sheer love. I think the world would be a much better place then. Don't accuse people of doing good. Mr. Big Blue Dog, you, sir, are a DICK!!!

SO HAPPY...

So silly happy right now... it's not even cuz of a guy (Gabs!)... I was done with homework by 10pm tonight. Literally done with EVERYTHING, with nothing left to do whatsoever... it's a wonderful feeling! BTW, Rent tomorrow!!!! Yay!

RE-POST... GHETTO-STYLE

Friday night
Went drinking wit da presidents, know what I'm sayin'?... no, seriously, went to a bar n' shit... didn't get carded n' shit. Yet, also didn't drink n' shit. Sat there wit my Strawberry Daiquiri, virgin n' shit. Hey, at least I peeped bomb diggity.


Saturday night
Took Kevin's hooptie out fo' a joy ride, know what I'm sayin'? Got lost rollin' in SF, couldn't find my way to Fishermen's Wharf if my life depended on that shiznit... quite sad n' shit. However, da night wuz saved wit a nice dinner at Bubba Gumps n' shit. Da conference ended on a bomb diggity high note. Couldn't ax fo' a on point way to conclude da conference n' shit. Came crib, wuz extremely tired, but managed to pull myself togizzle to make a cameo at Caleb's swim party wit Caroline, know what I'm sayin'? Guess who I seen? Kris n' shit... along wit tha dude's track boys n' shit. Track boys be hilarious, know what I'm sayin'? Didn't stay lizzong at da party n' shit... need sleep n' shit.


Sunday morning (afternoon)
Didn't wake up til 2pm today, know what I'm sayin'? Am fully caught up wit loss of sleep from da past week. However, horribly behind in homework n' shit...

WEEKEND OF CRAZINESS

Friday night
Went drinking with the presidents... no, seriously, went to a bar... didn't get carded. Yet, also didn't drink. Sat there with my Strawberry Daiquiri, virgin. Hey, at least I looked cool.

Saturday night
Took Kevin's car out for a joy ride. Got lost driving in SF, couldn't find my way to Fishermen's Wharf if my life depended on it... quite sad. However, the night was saved with a nice dinner at Bubba Gumps. The conference ended on a wonderfully high note. Couldn't ask for a better way to conclude the conference. Came home, was extremely tired, but managed to pull myself together to make a cameo at Caleb's swim party with Caroline. Guess who I saw? Kris... along with his track boys. Track boys are hilarious. Didn't stay long at the party... need sleep.

Sunday morning (afternoon)
Didn't wake up til 2pm today. Am fully caught up with loss of sleep from the past week. However, horribly behind in homework...

CELL PHONES SUCK

Last night I tried to get to sleep early. All the roomies were like, "What? Already? It's only 11." Yeah, I tried going to bed at 11, that's how badly I needed sleep. Sadly, it was to no avail... Was woken up in the middle of the night. Phone call from Kris. He was feeling horrible about everything and so we were on the phone for over half an hour, just doing damage control. *sigh* Some people are so STUPID... and that is why Kris and I were on the phone trying to figure out the best way to counter the situation. But no worries... everything is fine now.

Just when I thought I was in the clear and my head could finally rest on my pillow, Zairel's cell starts beeping out of control. Quite funny, she thought it was my phone and I thought it was her phone. It turned out to be a text message... haha, 1 text message that beeped as if 20 were being sent!!!!

After the beeping, I just couldn't fall back asleep. Kept thinking about how I haven't been the best person lately. Haven't really been there for any of my friends, haven't been able to think or do anything else but my own shit. And I keep telling myself that everything will be fine after Monday. But will it really? I'm sure some other deadline is bound to come along that'll keep me busy beyond belief. I don't believe that I'm really living. My revelation this summer was that there's more to life than just deadlines.... but unfortunately it looks like I haven't been able to live up to my new epiphany.

Don't exactly know when I fell asleep last night, or if I REALLY fell asleep at all... but was awoken this morning by a phone call from Arizona State's president. Was a reminder to myself that my conference has started. And how this conference plays itself out, be it good or bad, is a reflection of my work from the past 2 months. It's been a crazy, restless week... with no end in sight.

LET THIS WEEK BE OVER

I'm tired. I'm overworked. I'm fatigued. I get very little sleep. My health is deteriorating. My grades are suffering. I work WAAAAY too many hours for it to be all voluntary work. I'm a student, not an employee. I can't deal with anymore. I have a 15-page paper due that I haven't even started yet. Don't know when the hell I'm going to write it. Can't even stop to see Kristen and her Aunt Mimi this weekend. Can't even have dinner with Kristopher and his mom tomorrow night. What am I doing with my life? No wonder people see me as a big prudish girl...

HA! TAKE THAT!

After my midnight session with Fi-Comm the other night, I couldn't help but smile all the way home from school today. Reason why? See for yourself. The fee waiver that Mr. Gabriel boldly pleaded in front of the Senate for over an hour was because of me. Probably in a sick, twisted, and revengeful way, I'm *happy* to hear that the senators had to sit through a whole freakin' hour's worth of debate to finally end up passing my bill. Don't ya love the bureaucracy... perhaps the slowest form of efficiency vehicle. Last night's victory can't give me back those stolen 2 hours, but it does even the playing field, just a little bit...

CRAP!

I have lost 2 hours of my life that I CAN NEVER get back! Sat in Fi-Comm meeting for the longest freakin' time just waiting for them to make a decision about whether or not OP can use our OWN money to pay for dinner at the conference that I'm hosting. I wasn't even in there asking for any money from the contingency fund and 2 senators still shot down the request. Fortunately, the bill was passed, and an unhappy Jamie trudges through the streets of Berkeley back to the apt. at 1:30am... and now I must get reacquainted with something called schoolwork. Don't think I've had much time for that lately. I think I'm most productive at home... home in LA... how I wish I were home in LA...

WEEKEND HOME

To all my best buds back home that I couldn't hang out with... I'm so sorry. My weekend was spent engaged in all my Rhetoric 122 books. (Yes, all 15 of them!) Midterm today... SOOOOO happy that it's over with. Either I kicked its butt, or it kicked mine. I really can't tell with rhetoric classes anymore. I don't even know how my writing style stands in relation to the class. I've realized that I have a hard time conveying my thoughts onto paper. But then again, I have a hard time conveying my thoughts verbally, too. You'd think that 4 years of speech would've changed that... but it hasn't. Either way, it's all over with... unfortunately at the expense of not being able to see any of my friends this weekend!!!!

I'm not really complaining though. My time at home was nicely spent with my family. I've forgotten what great stuff we have at home. Quilted toilet paper is so amazingly soft!!!! And the fridge is always stocked with good food and drinks. (Hooray for Cream Saver Pudding, ice cream sandwiches, chimichangas, and Ruby Red Grapefruit juice!) My parents also finally decided to get cable TV. My dad ended up splurging and getting digital... we now get MTV on 6 different channels... 24 hours a day, 7 days a week of music videos... I watched a lot of TV. (NOT a good thing.) I also figured out who my cutie's girlfriend is... some chick with a horrible attitude! (Jessica, don't mess with me. I can beat down your @$$ in 2 seconds, flat.) Also watched my cutie's basketball game. He was leading scorer again... with TWO bad shoulders!!!! He got stepped on while playing flag football for Macy. Poor baby, some big fat kid landed on him. I also got to hang out a lot with my parents. (Most people might think this is a bad thing, but I sure don't.) Saturday night, both Terri and Jerry didn't wanna go get Chinese food, so it was just my parents and me. Totally awesome food... we all ate soo much that we came home and fell into a food coma. (I had 3 bowls of hot and sour soup and 2 bowls of rice. Yes... I know I eat a lot.) Jerry and I wrestled a lot, too. Unfortunately, he's become too buff that I can't beat him anymore. Terri and I gossiped – yes, about BOYS! All in all, quite a fun weekend.

Checking in at the airports was a different story. As Gabs puts it, I was literally "stripped searched." I can never make it through the metal detectors without the darn thing beeping. They made me take off my jacket, my shoes, and my belt (plus random accessories). Then the female security guard had to pat me down. At LAX, the lady checking my purse went through all my pictures and even commented about what a beautiful looking family I have. LOL, random. I don't really mind though, it's nice to know that they're being so thorough with checking people. Hmm... I guess I'm categorized under "suspicious".

Now, I'm back at Berkeley. Quite relieved that the midterm is over... even played some pool with Brian tonight. Played at that place right at the corner where we always wait for the bus. I used to just see people playing inside while waiting for the bus, but today I finally got to see how the inside looked like. Not bad... it's a pretty cool place to hang out. Mr. Bouncer man at the door wouldn't believe that my ID was real. (I actually look younger than 18?!)

Scorecard
Jamie vs. Rhetoric 122: still pending
Jamie vs. Brian: 1-1 (and counting...)

F*@%ING BAD DAY!

Still completely sleep deprived and overburdened with more work than one girl can handle, I also played exterminator to Haste #101 today. Freakin' ants infested our kitchen last night and I spent a whole hour hosing down the ants and then mopping off ant carcass. Needless to say, I ended up being late to class due to apt. emergency. *sigh* Was late half an hour to Rhetoric 122. Professor Jackson told me that she'd have to count my tardy as an absence. What?! My attendance grade is now a whole letter grade lower and considering that it's worth 25% of my final grade, this is NOT a good thing... hence a very pissed off Jamie. Damn Upper-div-small-lecture-no discussion classes!!!!!!!! I'm barely struggling to keep afloat in the class. I don't need to have attendance bringing my grade down! Sat through class still fuming about the damn ants and the crapload of responsibilites that are tied with living on your own in apartments. A little help would be nice sometimes...

But what woke me up from my sleep this morning was a very important phone call missed, and a stubbed toe while trying to answer the phone. It seriously sucks being bound to the phone. It seems that every phone call that I get recently has been business related. Today, the events coordinator from Bubba Gump's called me. (Exciting stuff... we will wine and dine all the presidents at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co!) Unfortunately, we have a stupid phone in the bedroom that rings but you can't use it cuz there's no dial-tone. Zairel has unplugged it cuz it's just bothersome to have it ring and not be able to use it. But this also means that I can't hear when the phone rings. By the time I was fully conscious enough to hear the living room phone, Bubba Gump's man had already hung up. Normally, missed phone call, no big deal. However, this dude only carries around a pager. Who in the 21st century still has a pager?! I've been waiting for this guy to call me all week, only to miss him by a big-toe of a second. (Damn toe had to kick the coffee table!!!!!) And so the wait continues for him to call...

My only shed of light is that I'm finally back home, in LA. That and the fact that I got tomato juice on the flight home, complemented with Mama Ghet's famous white chocolate and cranberry cookies. (They're to die for, honestly.) Home... I can escape from the madness that is school for at least a couple of days. Although, when you really think about it, it's not escape. I still have about a gazillion phone calls to make for the presidents' conference first thing tomorrow morning. (My parents were really proud of me for hosting something of this grandeur. Haven't really heard them say that they were proud of me in quite a long time.) Let me tell you... it's the worst thing trying to take care of all your business via cell phone. Being someone who has issues with trusting other people to do my tasks, I NEED to see what's being done, and if it's done CORRECTLY. I feel like I'm just blind right now... it's an uneasy feeling for me to trust other people to do things. Wanna hear what's really sick? (Haha, "sick" as in bad, not "sick" is in good. Strange Nor Cal people!) I had to set up a conference call with an editor from New York Times. A conference call?! What am I? 40?!?!?! (Oh wait... I'm 19 going on 41. Gabs is 40.) It's way too trippy. Sometimes, I think my brain forgets that I'm also a student and I DO need to schedule in some school time. Cuz a conference call usually suggests businesswoman... and I'm not ready to be on the cover of Forbes quite yet. Either way, on top of the conference, I still have my Rhetoric 122 midterm on Tuesday. The focus on the test: EVERYTHING. Professor Jackson basically said, "Review all the plays we've read and all the chapters we went over in the textbook." Uhhh... is there anything that WON'T be covered on the test?! Wednesday, 15-page Soc paper is due. Thursday is the Poli Sci midterm. Geez... instead of enjoying myself this weekend, it's more like a study session at home. At least I'll get a decent meal and I won't have to worry about ants....

REASONS WHY LACK OF SLEEP IS BAD FOR ME:

1) Went to go sit on my bed last night to catch my breath... ended up passing out for the whole night.

2) Didn't even say goodnight to the roomies. Sorry roomies, didn't mean to be rude.

3) Slept in awkward position at the head of the bed. Awoke with horrible shooting pains in back and hips.

4) Missed 8am discussion cuz I neglected to set my alarm clock...

REASONS WHY RHETORIC 20 IS AN INTERESTING CLASS:

1) The Smurf dressed up and gave an odd lecture about his neighbor's car getting stolen. *random*

2) Fievel grew a goatee... not bad.

3) Sean finally decides to show up to lecture... the first time since the first day of class. Reason for going to class: to pick up his midterm. But instead of staying for the WHOLE class period, decides to take a 15 minute Top Dog break... geez, what a good student!

4) Man reeking of alcohol wanders into class and causes huge commotion. The Smurf even stopped speaking to watch him. I swear he was gonna punch someone. Was contemplating about how I would throw Sean at him until Scott and Professor Clover ushered him out.

5) My worst midterm garnered me the best grade I have received at Berkeley thus far. (There's irony for ya!)

TOTALLY BLOG-WORTHY

cprjUGHead: im just a big fat cry baby

GUESS WHERE WE WENT FOR DINNER... AGAIN

I said I was gonna study all weekend... because I have WAY too much to do before I go home for Veteran's Day weekend. *sigh* Alas, I have done nothing. Such a UN-productive day!!!! We DID go to Jupiter for dinner... again. Such the PERFECT date place. ("I have practiced for this moment... cutting my salad and eating pizza with a knife and fork.") No people (guy) - watching tonight... we sat way out in the middle of nowhere. The only saving grace: food was good! We even had a Caesar salad this time!

On the way back from dinner, Caroline scared the bejeezus outta Gabs and me! Who knew enclosed bus stops would echo so much?! Gabs and I both thought we had heard something, like a creepy whisper that hissed, "QUIET!" But since nobody else reacted, we both kinda thought we had imagined it. Caroline harped on our moment of weakness and decided to scare us beyond belief by whispering Gabby's name from behind us. Gabs jumped up and took me with her and we both screamed like crazy. Not fun.

By the way, random breaking news: Ruben sings along with 'N Sync... Ruben is 'N Sync...

CROSSROADS

I think I may have become a hardened, horrible person. Have I really become a "politician"? Is it SO unbelievable to think that I might do things out of the goodness of my heart? Cuz I do!!! I deal with enough suspicion at work... I don't need it at home, too. I'm a good person... or at least, I'd like to think that I am. No ulterior motives. What you see is what you get, and I'm just a girl who cares. Either way, perhaps what I refuse to see serves best as a wake-up call. I don't want to be a fucking politician, and I never want to be one!!!!

Ever been bothered by an itch that you can't scratch? Can't reach? It's the worst thing ever. The itching just eats at you until you can't take it anymore. What makes it worse is that the more you ignore it, the more it itches...

Well, minus the itch, that's how I've been feeling lately. Each night, around this time, I get this very irritated and annoyed feeling. I can't exactly pinpoint what is behind all this frustration, which becomes even MORE frustrating. There's just all these emotions running through me – emptiness, loneliness, tiredness, stress, hunger. Lately, I think my work has been getting me really down. I LOVE doing things that benefit a lot of people, but I haven't really gotten the feeling that my work has had that impact. Who the heck do I benefit? A select few within the ASUC, if that... What makes things worse is that leaders here don't even take any responsibility whatsoever when I need them to, or expect them to. Since when did leaders become so undependable? All this political crap has made me rethink my decision to be a Political Science major. It doesn't interest me all that much anymore. Political theory?! Can't stand it! International relations? Can't deal with it!

Anyway, that's only two of the things that have been bothering me recently. I can't really describe it, but I just have such an unsettling feeling that I always hope my nightly showers will wash away my troubles. But it never does, my problems are still there... staring right back in my face. Yet for some reason, I can't exactly grasp what the problems actually are. I just know that I need to fix them... whatever they are...