8 F.CKING HOURS...

...was the number of hours it took me to drive home today. I usually LOVE driving down the 5 freeway. However, considering that this is a drive that I can usually make in 5.5 hours, I am f.cking pissed! I don't normally get steaming mad about anything, but today, I'm BOILING at 100 degrees Celsius.

First of all, who gave big rigs the right to drive at 50 mph in the LEFT lane??? If I recall correctly, all signs read, "Slower traffic keep right." It's a simple concept... what's not to understand? If you're big and slow, just stay on your lane. Don't try to race with the big boys. But nooooo, instead, I got stuck behind all the f.cking truckers and the lame-ass drivers that were blocking up both lanes.

Secondly, there was fog. But fog's usually not too troublesome. Tonight, it was dense, but not to the point of being unable to see clearly. Yet, the f.cking people on the road tonight could not drive for sh.t! The 5 freeway going through Republican Land is STRAIGHT! It's not scary to drive STRAIGHT with a bit of fog. Just follow the f.cking taillights of the car in front of you. No need to go at the speed of a f.cking snail!

But perhaps the worst part of it all was the state patroller that STOPPED traffic in the middle of the 5 freeway and then proceeded to make us go at his pace, weaving back and forth in front of us with a flashing sign that read, "Drive at this pace, do not pass." I happened to be the third car in the pack. His pace? 40 mph in a 70 mph speed zone! This went on for an hour before the f.cker finally got off the exit at Kettleman.

It wasn't even like bumper-to-bumper TRAFFIC. It was just a bunch of cars that didn't know how to drive. Ironically, things FINALLY got better the second I saw the sign proclaiming that I had just reached the county limits of Los Angeles. Thank goodness for good ol' LA drivers. At this point, I was so sick of traffic that I think I basically flew home going about 100. (Shhh... Gabbo says I drive like an East LA boy.) Needless to say, my road rage was in overdrive, to the point of just wanting to run my car off the road. I can't believe how frustrating it was on the road today... especially cuz I was starving and alone. And believe me, I was UNFORGIVING with the horn.

Preach on, Luda. Move bitch, get out the way cuz you about to get ran the F.CK over.