I AM DOOMED

Feeling very neighborly, I engaged myself in a very long conversation with Grandpa Bill and his handsome baby grandson this afternoon. The timing of this conversation is highly ironic. Grandpa Bill apparently is very talented in reading astrology. Because his baby grandson took such a liking to me, Grandpa Bill decided to give me a free reading. Upon hearing my birthdate digits, he quickly gave me the bad news: The key to my happiness will be to marry a GENTLEMAN, or else suffer a life of misery.

Given my track record, I think I'm probably going to live a life of misery. It also doesn't help that I was born at 1:32 am, which falls under the Ox Lady's domain. According to Grandpa Bill, the Ox Lady is not a good judge of character... she usually picks the worst ones. All these new revelations leave me wondering, how many Mr. Wrongs do I have to go through before I find Mr. Right? Or maybe the question I SHOULD be asking is, will I EVER find Mr. Right? The Chinese zodiac never lies...

Disclaimer: To all my future suitors, if I try to make you into a "gentleman," it's only because I really like you and actually see a future for us. Don't hate me for it.