RETURN OF THE DEAD
Old habits die hard... it's in the midst of one of the most difficult papers I've ever had to write that I return to the world of blogging. It vaguely feels like college, but yet so far from it. I now blog from the comfort of my own case-brief-scattered living room instead of hunched over a college-type desk in the dimly lit room of Russell B. However, judging by the brightly lit timer-clock on my oven, I should have been in bed about 4 hours ago, curled up next to my husband. My, how things have changed...
And yet, it took a college rejection letter to help me reminisce about old college days. This time it wasn't my rejection letter, but a student's. While procrastinating from my own work to give him advice about an appeals letter, I was reminded of how utterly exhilarating and dejecting college could be; the ups and the downs; the good and the bad; the yin and the yang. College has prepared me well to face any problems that life may throw at me. I'll be the first to toot my own horn and say that I've come a long way from my chicken-crying, campaign-running, bacon-grease-eating, boy-chasing days. It all feels like a distant cry.
It's hard to even put into words what I've truly been up to the past couple of years since college. But the wrinkles on my face definitely don't hide anything. I feel like a weathered chamois rag that's been hung out to dry one too many times. One thing I do know is that my values haven't changed. I'm still the same person with the same beliefs and the same "save the world" attitude. (What do you expect? I went to Berkeley.) Ironically, I have 10 different personality tests that all say I'm a radical liberal, ala my Psychology-Doctorate of a law professor. I've been beaten down far too many times, but I know I'll always pop right back up. I'm going to make it...
Sunday, December 03, 2006
I'm not very fond of the term "As Good As It Gets." It's a great movie... but a terrible phrase. It implies that life will never get any better; that from here on out, it's only going to go downhill. What a MISERABLE feeling! BUT, I am a strong advocate of freezing time. I sure do wish I could capture all the good right now and just bottle it for a rainy day.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
SO LAME
Who the heck has ever heard of writing a paper in APA format?! I've written tons of papers and never has a professor asked for it in APA format; always just in MLA format. If this crazy b.tch that claims to work for the district asks for something in APA format, she better teach us how... because I don't know APA format. I hate the crazy school I go to. It's waaay overpriced for a cheap @$$ education. The worst part is all the breezys that I have to pass by on my way to class, when I'm horribly late and I reek of sweat from a 12-year old that just had P.E., and them strolling through campus in their f.cking pearls and high heels on their way to their sorority meeting, pulling up in their Beemers, Ferraris, and Jags. What do they care? Daddy pays for everything. I think they're working on their M.R.S. degree.
Who the heck has ever heard of writing a paper in APA format?! I've written tons of papers and never has a professor asked for it in APA format; always just in MLA format. If this crazy b.tch that claims to work for the district asks for something in APA format, she better teach us how... because I don't know APA format. I hate the crazy school I go to. It's waaay overpriced for a cheap @$$ education. The worst part is all the breezys that I have to pass by on my way to class, when I'm horribly late and I reek of sweat from a 12-year old that just had P.E., and them strolling through campus in their f.cking pearls and high heels on their way to their sorority meeting, pulling up in their Beemers, Ferraris, and Jags. What do they care? Daddy pays for everything. I think they're working on their M.R.S. degree.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
I'm saddened tonight, not because the Lakers lost, but because MY own season is also over. Now that I'm back in LA, I've had the opportunity to catch every single game on TV. I can, on only one hand, count the number of games I've missed... that's including preseason games. I've followed them religiously... probably as closely as Aaron McKie (benchwarmer). I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with my nights now that I don't have dates with Kobe anymore. I know baseball season is still going strong, but it's never to the same excitement as Laker game nights. I'm most saddened by the fact that I gotta wait 'til October (preseason) for the next Laker game. I'll always live and die by the purple and gold... and tonight, I died just a little bit. But I'll be a Laker fan until the day I die.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
So I went to the doctor today for my 4-week-on-off-hacking-cough. It turns out that I have bronchitis!!!! The doctor refrained me from working tomorrow. On my way out, he asks, "Do you need a note for your principal?" Man, I felt like I was back in 4th grade. I looked up sheepishly and responded with a, "Yes, please."
All in all, my doctor says I've been trying to do too much and that I live off of adrenaline. My body is telling me that I can't take it anymore... but my mind (read as willpower) is MUCH stronger and allows me to keep going. I guess everything is all starting to catch up with me now. I need lots of rest... but all I keep thinking about is whether or not my kids are terrorizing the sub.
All in all, my doctor says I've been trying to do too much and that I live off of adrenaline. My body is telling me that I can't take it anymore... but my mind (read as willpower) is MUCH stronger and allows me to keep going. I guess everything is all starting to catch up with me now. I need lots of rest... but all I keep thinking about is whether or not my kids are terrorizing the sub.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
RE-LIVING
It's always the nights when I have to write papers that I resort to my college days of blogging. It's a great escape from having to do what really needs to be done.
Things currently on my mind...
It's always the nights when I have to write papers that I resort to my college days of blogging. It's a great escape from having to do what really needs to be done.
Things currently on my mind...
- Trying to get back into the political scene. Never the puppet, just the puppeteer.
- Figuring out how to score some Laker playoff tickets... and some Bulls/Heat tickets, since I'm going to be in Chicago for 10 days.
- ... Chicago... some really bad-for-you-but-so-damn-good deep dish pizza and a Cubs game. (I swear this is how life was intended.)
- Why is Jason Repko engaged?! Abort previous mission... new mission: 22 games left to find me another Dodger boyfriend.
- Kobe's getting the MVP. No doubt.
- Hahah. Smushcalade. Loving it.
- This thought is a filler. I only do things in groups of 8... 8 cuz of Kobe. (My students are really glad that I don't like a player like Dennis Rodman, #91, for the pure sake of not having to write spelling words 91 times.)
- F.ck. Needing to finish all these damn papers before any fun can begin... story of my life.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
9 MONTHS AGO...
... I would be barely starting my day (at like 8pm at night)
... I wouldn't have a care in the world on a Thursday night
... I could stay up as late as I wanted tonight, and sleep in as late as I wanted tomorrow morning
... I would be getting ready for a night of fun at a randy Berkeley bar
... Bear's Lair would be a definite stop for some boozin' and schmoozin'
I can't believe I'm getting ready for bed right now. I feel like I'm 40. Being a full-time student and teacher is the absolute pits. Does anyone REALLY need a Masters? Cuz I think I can live without one.
... I would be barely starting my day (at like 8pm at night)
... I wouldn't have a care in the world on a Thursday night
... I could stay up as late as I wanted tonight, and sleep in as late as I wanted tomorrow morning
... I would be getting ready for a night of fun at a randy Berkeley bar
... Bear's Lair would be a definite stop for some boozin' and schmoozin'
I can't believe I'm getting ready for bed right now. I feel like I'm 40. Being a full-time student and teacher is the absolute pits. Does anyone REALLY need a Masters? Cuz I think I can live without one.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
There have been a lot of things that have been really frustrating lately... All I can say is that I'm REALLY glad I'm a teacher. It's nice to know there's hope for the future.
1. I'm so sick of people telling me that South Central is "such a dangerous place to be." Instead of finding out for themselves, they avoid all of South LA completely. Get over it. It's not that bad. If my students can walk to and from school everyday by themselves, it's.not.that.bad. Stop telling me that I work in the "ghetto". Stop telling me to watch my back. Stop dissing on the area. Cuz you know what? I love it. I LOVE it. I walk around on Compton Ave. I drive my kids home. Yes, I'm careful. But in all honesty, I've never felt threatened. Ever.
2. I absolutely hate that people make so many damn generalizations about South LA. Case in point, the Tookie Williams case. First of all, if you don't know, you're ignorant. Secondly, if you are happy with the outcome, you're ignorant. I cannot believe all the people running their mouth about the issue when they live in the f.cking suburbs. You don't even know the half of it. You obviously don't even know what people in LA (and I mean real LA, not f.cking "OC") think about the murder. Yes, I called it a murder. Our pig-brained Terminator of a governor, in my opinion, used Tookie Williams as an example. With one crushing blow, he asserted his dominance and showed all Californians that he could do whatever he wanted and still get away with it... cuz, after all, he's in power. F.cking bastard. You wanna know why people have been referring to Tookie Williams as a martyr? It's cuz that's what people in LA REALLY think. If you don't believe me, ask around for yourself.
3. The death penalty. If my 6th graders can get this concept, the whole f.cking world should be able to. Forget the whole eye-for-an-eye bullsh.t This isn't Hammurabi's Code. This is the f.cking 21st century. Killing a murderer does not miraculously bring back all the people that he has killed. And no, it doesn't make things right. Keep the wrongdoer in jail for life. Trust me, it's a worse punishment than death. Yes, certain people probably do not deserve to live. Serial killers. Terrorists. Rapists. But, nothing justifies killing. (Don't use the "self-defense" argument on me. In that case, it's protection, not killing.)
4. Something that pisses me off to the nth degree: teachers that don't believe in their students. I have smart kids. Yes, my LAUSD kids ARE SMART. Dare I say it... but I KNOW my kids are smarter than most rich ass snobs. For one, my kids have heart. When they talk about changing the world, it's not some "beauty queen" answer about "making the world a better place." They talk about real issues. Cuz they're living it. My 6th graders KNOW about politics... at least more than most college graduates I know. My 6th graders can do a better job running the government than George W. Bush and Arnold Schwarzenegger put together. I know who I'm voting for in the future - my students.
5. Backtracking a little... let's review the word "ghetto." I've yet to hear the word uttered from the mouths of my students... you know, the people that actually live there. Which means, the ONLY people using that word are people that don't live there. Hmm... maybe people should stop talking sh.t??? Oh yeah, one last thing: Montebello is NOT the ghetto. Please refrain from using the word. You don't sound cool using it.
6. And last, but not least... "OCers", stop pretending you're from LA. You just make real LA people sound bad. Really... just stick to your little bubble of a world because LA would eat you alive. San Diego, you're also NOT LA.
1. I'm so sick of people telling me that South Central is "such a dangerous place to be." Instead of finding out for themselves, they avoid all of South LA completely. Get over it. It's not that bad. If my students can walk to and from school everyday by themselves, it's.not.that.bad. Stop telling me that I work in the "ghetto". Stop telling me to watch my back. Stop dissing on the area. Cuz you know what? I love it. I LOVE it. I walk around on Compton Ave. I drive my kids home. Yes, I'm careful. But in all honesty, I've never felt threatened. Ever.
2. I absolutely hate that people make so many damn generalizations about South LA. Case in point, the Tookie Williams case. First of all, if you don't know, you're ignorant. Secondly, if you are happy with the outcome, you're ignorant. I cannot believe all the people running their mouth about the issue when they live in the f.cking suburbs. You don't even know the half of it. You obviously don't even know what people in LA (and I mean real LA, not f.cking "OC") think about the murder. Yes, I called it a murder. Our pig-brained Terminator of a governor, in my opinion, used Tookie Williams as an example. With one crushing blow, he asserted his dominance and showed all Californians that he could do whatever he wanted and still get away with it... cuz, after all, he's in power. F.cking bastard. You wanna know why people have been referring to Tookie Williams as a martyr? It's cuz that's what people in LA REALLY think. If you don't believe me, ask around for yourself.
3. The death penalty. If my 6th graders can get this concept, the whole f.cking world should be able to. Forget the whole eye-for-an-eye bullsh.t This isn't Hammurabi's Code. This is the f.cking 21st century. Killing a murderer does not miraculously bring back all the people that he has killed. And no, it doesn't make things right. Keep the wrongdoer in jail for life. Trust me, it's a worse punishment than death. Yes, certain people probably do not deserve to live. Serial killers. Terrorists. Rapists. But, nothing justifies killing. (Don't use the "self-defense" argument on me. In that case, it's protection, not killing.)
4. Something that pisses me off to the nth degree: teachers that don't believe in their students. I have smart kids. Yes, my LAUSD kids ARE SMART. Dare I say it... but I KNOW my kids are smarter than most rich ass snobs. For one, my kids have heart. When they talk about changing the world, it's not some "beauty queen" answer about "making the world a better place." They talk about real issues. Cuz they're living it. My 6th graders KNOW about politics... at least more than most college graduates I know. My 6th graders can do a better job running the government than George W. Bush and Arnold Schwarzenegger put together. I know who I'm voting for in the future - my students.
5. Backtracking a little... let's review the word "ghetto." I've yet to hear the word uttered from the mouths of my students... you know, the people that actually live there. Which means, the ONLY people using that word are people that don't live there. Hmm... maybe people should stop talking sh.t??? Oh yeah, one last thing: Montebello is NOT the ghetto. Please refrain from using the word. You don't sound cool using it.
6. And last, but not least... "OCers", stop pretending you're from LA. You just make real LA people sound bad. Really... just stick to your little bubble of a world because LA would eat you alive. San Diego, you're also NOT LA.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Friday, December 09, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
On my day off...
I'm writing a ridiculously bad paper. Don't blame me though... blame my dumb professor who couldn't even explain to us what the assignment was supposed to be about... or offer any suggestions on what we could write about. So I'm just going to write about how stupid the system is in labeling ESL students from ELD students. (All my LAUSD teachers that know about High Point or Language! feel me on this one.)
My mind is still running on delirium. I feel so sick and tired. I hope my kids aren't terrorizing the sub. They were so mad that I wouldn't be with them today. I vaguely remember them trying to give me a group hug on my way out the door after dropping off my lesson plans. Yeah, I don't remember much when my days start at 5am.
I'm writing a ridiculously bad paper. Don't blame me though... blame my dumb professor who couldn't even explain to us what the assignment was supposed to be about... or offer any suggestions on what we could write about. So I'm just going to write about how stupid the system is in labeling ESL students from ELD students. (All my LAUSD teachers that know about High Point or Language! feel me on this one.)
My mind is still running on delirium. I feel so sick and tired. I hope my kids aren't terrorizing the sub. They were so mad that I wouldn't be with them today. I vaguely remember them trying to give me a group hug on my way out the door after dropping off my lesson plans. Yeah, I don't remember much when my days start at 5am.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
On again. Off again. On again. Off again. On again.
Last week was insanely tiring. I wanted to gouge my eyes out and keel over on Monday. MONDAY! It's really not a good thing when you're running on empty on a Monday... considering that there's still Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I promised my kids I would never do it, but I'm finding that I NEED to. I'm taking a day off tomorrow! (Woohoo!) I need a day to de-stress. I need a day devoted to ME. Plus, there's not much I can do if I'm confined to my bed... except send text messages and type away at my laptop.
Last week was insanely tiring. I wanted to gouge my eyes out and keel over on Monday. MONDAY! It's really not a good thing when you're running on empty on a Monday... considering that there's still Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I promised my kids I would never do it, but I'm finding that I NEED to. I'm taking a day off tomorrow! (Woohoo!) I need a day to de-stress. I need a day devoted to ME. Plus, there's not much I can do if I'm confined to my bed... except send text messages and type away at my laptop.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
I know as a teacher, I'm not supposed to play favorites... but I have an ABSOLUTE favorite student. Ismael is a student that I've struggled with from the very beginning. He's definitely a leader in every aspect, yet chooses to act like a clown in class. But after a serious talk with him last week and being sent to the Counselor's office, he's finally shaping up. Lately, I catch him taking notes in my class and paying close attention to every single thing I say.
Ismael is the most adorable boy you'll ever meet. He's got a smile to die for. Last Thursday, when I took him home after school, I remember looking over at him sitting in my passenger seat and he just gave me the biggest smile in the entire world. With his feet dangling off the seat, I couldn't help but flash him a big smile in return.
Ismael's been staying after school with me to be tutored. All the tutoring seems to be paying off. I am SOOO proud of him. Considering that this is a student that once scored a 14% on his test with the previous teacher, I'm thrilled to say that he's now a B average student and jumped 28 points from the last test he took.
My goodness, I have SMART kids!
P.S. My class average is a 79%!
Ismael is the most adorable boy you'll ever meet. He's got a smile to die for. Last Thursday, when I took him home after school, I remember looking over at him sitting in my passenger seat and he just gave me the biggest smile in the entire world. With his feet dangling off the seat, I couldn't help but flash him a big smile in return.
Ismael's been staying after school with me to be tutored. All the tutoring seems to be paying off. I am SOOO proud of him. Considering that this is a student that once scored a 14% on his test with the previous teacher, I'm thrilled to say that he's now a B average student and jumped 28 points from the last test he took.
My goodness, I have SMART kids!
P.S. My class average is a 79%!
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