WHAT A RUSH!

So, obviously the Lakers won tonight... and I'm in a great mood! But I've still got a bone to pick with all the Laker haters out there. Recently, I have heard that the #1 reason why people dislike the Lakers so much is because of the way we "build" our teams... mainly in reference to Gary Payton and Karl Malone. The Lakers have been called the New York Yankees of basketball because, apparently, we "buy" our players.

But wait a minute... isn't that the reason why players become "free agents"? Isn't that the reason why we have drafts and trades? Players should be able to move around and play on whichever team they want to. And it just so happened that Gary and Karl wanted to play in LA. We didn't BUY them... if anything, the Lakers got the best of the deal; two future Hall of Famers for pennies!

But here's something else to chew on... to all those people that rooted for the Minnesota Timberwolves because they hated the Lakers, YOU ALL ARE HYPOCRITES. Out of their roster of 14 players, only 4 are returning veterans. Which means, you all "bought" 10 (YES, 10!) new players! Out of those 4 original players, only 1 was a starter, your precious MVP. You did what the Lakers did... times 5! That's right, Sam Cassell, Trenton Hassell, Fred Hoiberg, Latrell Sprewell, Michael Olowokandi, and even Mark Madsen, former Laker... ALL NEW PLAYERS TO THE ROSTER!



Yes, let's talk about Mark Madsen. I have NEVER liked the guy. I don't care how much "enthusiasm" he brings to the team, I don't like him! He's such a disgrace and mockery to the sport of basketball. I have NO idea what he's doing in the picture. But that's all he did in Game 3... throw Shaq's arms around his neck. Strange, no? Might he have been posing for a prom picture??? I'm 100% sure that's NOT how you play defense. Hey Stanford, if you wanted to go to prom, go buy one with Daddy's money! So glad you're not with the Lakers anymore... you were nothing but a distraction.

I AM DOOMED

Feeling very neighborly, I engaged myself in a very long conversation with Grandpa Bill and his handsome baby grandson this afternoon. The timing of this conversation is highly ironic. Grandpa Bill apparently is very talented in reading astrology. Because his baby grandson took such a liking to me, Grandpa Bill decided to give me a free reading. Upon hearing my birthdate digits, he quickly gave me the bad news: The key to my happiness will be to marry a GENTLEMAN, or else suffer a life of misery.

Given my track record, I think I'm probably going to live a life of misery. It also doesn't help that I was born at 1:32 am, which falls under the Ox Lady's domain. According to Grandpa Bill, the Ox Lady is not a good judge of character... she usually picks the worst ones. All these new revelations leave me wondering, how many Mr. Wrongs do I have to go through before I find Mr. Right? Or maybe the question I SHOULD be asking is, will I EVER find Mr. Right? The Chinese zodiac never lies...

Disclaimer: To all my future suitors, if I try to make you into a "gentleman," it's only because I really like you and actually see a future for us. Don't hate me for it.

And it was done as easy as that: May 26, 2004.

"IF IT'S TOO SHORT, CHOP IT OFF"

...and yes, my professor was referring to the male genital. Welcome to Sociology of Gender. Now, I understand that I'm technically supposed to be on summer "vacation" and making students take classes in the summer is just flat out wrong, I can't help but LOVE my classes!

On the first day of class, we talked about intersexed infants - babies that are born with both the male and female genitalia. (This is the one time I'm going to be against the advancement of technology.) To decide the gender of the baby, they test the length of the penis and its capabilites for reproduction in the future. According to the author, John Money, "A penis is, by convention, designated as a micropenis when at birth its dimensions are three or more standard deviations below the mean." At that point, they chop it off and turn the micropenis into an enlarged clitoris. Never mind that somewhere in their genetics, there is still a Y chromosome swimming around... talk about a blow to the ego. Imagine if they put ALL baby boys through that same test!

And for today's thrilling adventures... a film about a naked bearded lady that joined the circus. There was even a bath scene... OooOOoo... Pablo has trained me well for this class.

I'm not scared of "bad boys" like you.

Just came to the realization that I've got one more year of college left... where does the time go? Academically, this year sucked. But mentally... wow.

I AM AN USER

Do you remember the kid in your neighborhood that had all the cool toys? All the newest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle accessories? The talking robots? My-Size Barbie? I never had cool toys, so I'd throw parties and invite all the spoiled kids with the best toys to come over. Then I'd play with their toys.

Flash forward 15 years later...

I have not gone to my classes all semester. I have no knowledge. What do I do? I invite all the kids with the "cool toys," now known as knowledge, to the office and suck their brain dry. Currently waiting for my next victim (next one-on-one review session)...

As requested by Gabby, these are my men... in order of preference.



Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers


Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Saved By The Bell and NYPD Blue


Tony Reali, Around the Horn


Andy Pettitte, Pitcher from the Houston Astros


Dan Miller, O-Town


Ivan Sergei, Formerly on WB's Jack and Jill

Doesn't this just melt your heart? Despite all the bad press, I still love this guy... and I'm positive this guy loves his daughter.





And just for the record, the Lakers ARE the champs, and Kobe WILL be MVP. Take that, Barkley!

I usually don't post song lyrics just cuz I feel like it is a waste of space. If you wanted to read song lyrics, you can easily search for them with Google, right? But my girl Tamia does it again with another heart-breaking song, and I just had to share. Her songs always hit the spot, as if she knows just how I'm feeling. I have no idea where she finds her inspiration for these songs, considering that her husband is the one and only Grant Hill!

Questions by Tamia

I noticed you ain't been around lately
I recognize there is a sudden change
I notice you haven't been calling me
I'm starting to see, that things are not the same
Lately I have been reaching out to you
Boy you haven't been returning my calls
And even when I say, I love you
I notice there has been a slight pause

[Chorus]
Please tell me what do you think it could be
Headache, tired, or cheating on me?
I'm tired of all this up and down mystery
Please answer questions one, two, three
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Ooooohh ladies, help me out
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Said I'm tired of all these ups and downs
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Fellas tell me what you're thinking
Do you love me? Lost interest? Is he cheatin'?
Here's the reason why I ask these things....

I was giving him the best of me
But my best stopped being good enough
I'm telling you I will do anything
Talk about a woman who loves tough
And now he's coming home real, real late
I let him know it's starting to bother me
He never once even touched his plate
And no response he just went to sleep

[Chorus]
Please tell me what do you think it could be
Headache, tired, or cheating on me?
I'm tired of all this up and down mystery
Please answer questions one, two, three
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Ooooohh ladies, help me out
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Said I'm tired of all these ups and downs
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Fellas tell me what you're thinking
Do you love me? Lost interest? Is he cheatin'?
Here's the reason why I ask these things....

Used to take me shopping, all the time
Used to go club hoppin', all the time
Where you were I would be, all the time
Now all you do is leave me behind boy
Used to be your best friend, remember?
We were close like cousins, remember?
Used to give me lovin', and now...
All you're doing is trippin', ladies, what do you think?

[Chorus]
Please tell me what do you think it could be
Headache, tired, or cheating on me?
I'm tired of all this up and down mystery
Please answer questions one, two, three
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Ooooohh ladies, help me out
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Said I'm tired of all these ups and downs
Do you love me? Lost Interest? Is he cheatin'?
Fellas tell me what you're thinking
Do you love me? Lost interest? Is he cheatin'?
Here's the reason why I ask these things....

F.ck. What is wrong with me? Things used to be so perfect.